Ghosts of Evangelion - a post-EoE fic by Bagheera

[Bagheera]

It's . . . holy shit, I haven't posted anything in over a month. That's both depressing and unacceptable. You know what this story needs? Kensuke, that's what. Have some Kensuke.

August 23, 2021

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August 23, 2021

Shinji and Asuka made their way through the udon shop, looking for some trace of their friends in the midst of the hungry crowd. They found them in the shop's back room, chatting amiably while they waited. When Hikari saw them she smiled and waved them over.
The pair sat down, Shinji looking harried and Asuka some combination of frustrated and bored. Hikari looked them over with a hawkish gaze, scrutinizing them carefully as she looked for anything out of place. After a moment she smiled brightly and clapped her hands. "You did it!" she cheered. There was a triumphant note in her voice. "I'm so happy for you!"
Shinji shot Asuka an accusing look, and she responded with a shrug. "Don't look at me," she said, her voice caustic. "I didn't tell her anything."
Shinji sighed and gave Hikari a bland look. "How could you possibly know that?" he asked.
Hikari grinned. "It's so obvious!" she exclaimed. "Everything about you is the same, but different. You're more . . . relaxed, I guess? It's hard to describe."
"She means you're acting like a couple," Touji said, boredom in his voice.
Hikari nodded eagerly. "Yes, exactly!"
Asuka huffed. "Whatever."
Hikari, undaunted, turned to her husband. "Touji, why don't you and Shinji go check out the arcade while Asuka and I catch up?"
Touji frowned. "Hey," he asked, "what about lunch?"
Hikari scowled. "Touji, this is important."
"So's lunch," Touji said, growling. "A man's gotta eat, you know."
"Touji." It was a single word, but there was an element of menace in Hikari's voice that promised dire things if he argued the point.
Touji opened his mouth to complain, but ultimately thought better of it. "Fine," he grumbled. He turned to Shinji. "Let's go, bud. Girls gotta do what they gotta do."
Shinji frowned, and shot Asuka an inquiring look. She responded with an apathetic shrug, and he sighed. "Alright. If that's what you want, I guess it's fine. I guess we'll see you two later."
Hikari waved them off, then turned expectantly toward Asuka. She rested her chin on folded hands, and gave her friend a sunny smile. "Tell me everything!" she implored.

"Damn, man," Touji complained, turning into the arcade. "Why do they gotta do that?"
"Why are you asking me?" Shinji asked. "You're the one who's married, you tell me."
Touji just laughed. "I dunno, man," he said. "If I understood women, I'd be a rich man." He stopped short, taking in the sight of a familiar figure before him. "Whoa. Is that who I think it is?"
Shinji followed his gaze, and stared at the man before him. "Kensuke?" he asked.
Kensuke did not look well. His eyes were bloodshot, his motions while playing his game agitated and confused.
Touji walked up to him, a smile on his face. "Well, look who it is. How you doing, Ken-man?"
Kensuke looked up at him, his eyes wide. "T-Touji?" he stammered. He turned and saw Shinji, and began to panic. "Shinji!" he exclaimed. "I . . . I . . . " He looked around, searching for an exit.
Touji put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Hey man, take it easy. We're cool, right?" He looked at Shinji, who nodded. "See?" he went on. "It's all good. Relax."
Kensuke fidgeted, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "S-sorry," he said. "I . . . " He shook his head. "Sorry," he repeated.
Touji squinted at him, then shook his head and clapped his friend on the back. "Hey man," he said, "why don't we grab a table and get some grub? Then we can catch up, hey?"

Shinji, Touji, and Kensuke entered the Udon shop and made their way to the back room. As they approached the girls' table Asuka caught sight of them. She took one look at Kensuke and rolled her eyes. "Well well well," she said, "it's the three stooges, together again. How's it going, rat face?"
Kensuke looked away from her, studying the ground intently. "F-fine, I guess," he mumbled.
"Have you graduated to toilet cams yet?" she asked, leering at him.
He scowled. "Hey! I haven't done anything like that since I was thirteen!"
"I see," she said, nodding. "Still sticking with locker rooms, then."
Touji scowled at her. "C'mon, Soryu, knock it off."
Asuka turned to Hikari. "Be careful, Hikari," she whispered. "You never know with this one."
Hikari gave her a nervous laugh. "Asuka, that's not very nice," she said.
Asuka shrugged, then turned back to Kensuke. "Why are you here, anyway?" she asked. "I thought you and your dad went to Hokkaido or something."
Kensuke flushed. "Erm, well . . . we did, for awhile. But he . . . he died in a fishing accident a couple of weeks ago, so I didn't really have anywhere else to go. I came back here to try to find work. Or . . . something. I still haven't quite worked it out."
"Oh," Asuka said. She adopted a bored expression, suddenly finding the walls very interesting.
Hikari smiled at Kensuke sympathetically. "That's awful, Kensuke. Is there anything we can do to help?"
Touji laughed. "Funny you should mention that, Hikari. Y'see . . . "

Asuka stared at the sidewalk as she walked, aware of Shinji at her side. They walked in silence for several blocks. Finally she said, "It's not like I try to be a bitch, you know."
"I know," he said.
She glanced at him sidelong. "I mean, he was a total perv back in middle school," she said.
"Yeah," he said.
She pouted. "What he did was pretty skeevy."
"Yeah," he said, nodding, "it was."
She shuffled along. "And it's not like I knew," she said. "I mean, if I had . . . "
"I know, Asuka," he said. "You'd never try to hurt him if you knew. Everyone knows that."
She scoffed at him. "No they don't. They all think I'm a heartless bitch. Even Hikari thought I went over the line."
"It's not like that," he said. "Hikari loves you. She'll always give you the benefit of the doubt, just like me." He wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close. "And Touji and Kensuke . . . it's complicated with them. But they don't hate you. I know they don't."
"Hmph," she said. "If you say so." She settled into his embrace, and they walked the rest of the way home in silence.

Shinji finished cleaning the kitchen, then smiled with sudden inspiration. "Hey, Asuka," he said, "I was thinking about practicing for a bit. Do you mind?"
Asuka looked up from her manga. "I don't care," she said. "Do as you like."
Shinji nodded, then headed toward his room to get his cello. He was distracted by a knock at the door. "Who could that be?" Shinji asked. He opened the door and found Touji standing on the other side.
"Heya, Shin-man," Touji said.
"Touji," Shinji said, surprised. "What--"
Touji smirked. "Gotta talk to Soryu for a minute," he said. He looked past Shinji at Asuka. "Well?" he asked. "You game?"
She shrugged.
Touji looked at Shinji. "Beat it, Shin-man. This is between me and the demon."
Shinji looked at Asuka, then at Touji, then back at Asuka. He sighed, and made his way toward the door. "Just don't kill each other," he said.
Asuka and Touji replied in unison. "No promises!" they said.

Asuka scowled at Touji as the door closed behind Shinji. "Alright, monkey boy," she said, "what is this all about?"
"It's Kensuke," he said. "You need to cut him some slack."
"Look, I'm sorry about his dad--" she began.
"It ain't that," he said, interrupting her.
"Eh?"
"It's just . . . " he scratched his head. "He's been through a lot."
She gave him an incredulous look.
He held up his hands, warding her off. "I don't mean it like that," he said. "But . . . " he frowned. "You know how people remember stuff from Instrumentality?"
She nodded.
"Well, he remembers the Fourth Division," he said.
Her eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
"Just what I said," he said. "He remembers the Fourth Division. He remembers their invasion of Nerv, and he remembers their fight with you."
"That's impossible," she said. "People remember friends, family. Not . . . " She waved her hands. "Not huge groups of people!"
Touji shook his head. "It's different with him," he said. "Kensuke is . . . was, I guess . . . a hardcore military otaku. He absolutely worshipped them."
"Yeah," Asuka scoffed. "I'd expect that of a dweeb like him."
Touji frowned, but let the remark pass. "He also idolized the Eva pilots," he said. "Particularly you."
She blinked. "No way," she said. "He was stuck on Shinji and Ayanami--"
Touji shook his head. "Shinji was his buddy, and Rei was exotic. But you . . . you were from Germany. You were the very essence of cool to him."
Asuka shivered. "Ew!" she said. "Creepy much?"
"Hey, I ain't endorsing it. My point is . . .  well, imagine how he felt when he saw the Fourth Division slaughtering civilians. Imagine how he felt when he saw them burning innocent people. Who even does that, man?" He laughed mirthlessly. "I thought no one used flamethrowers anymore, jeez."
Asuka shrugged. "How should I know?" she asked.
"But anyway," he went on, "imagine how he felt when he saw them fighting you. It was bad enough that they tried to kill Shinji, but you . . . They were his idols, and they were fighting someone he revered as a goddess. He had no way to deal with that."
"That's stupid!" she said. "Ugh!" She shuddered. After a time she sighed and said, "Okay, fine, he's had a rough time of it. What do you expect me to do about it?"
He laughed. "I don't expect ya to do anything, man," he said. "Just be aware, that's all. He ain't some perv out to get ya, he's just a fucked up kid like the rest of us. Just deal with that and don't poke at him, that's all I'm askin.'"
She crossed her arms and harrumphed.
"C'mon, Soryu," he said. "If you can get along with me . . . "
"You're different," she said. "You're a pilot."
He gritted his teeth. "Even so . . . "
Asuka dithered, then threw up her hands. "Fine, whatever," she said. "But he's your problem. If he says something stupid I won't be held responsible for what happens."
"Fine," Touji said, holding up his hands. "That's fine. That's a start, at least."

Touji closed the door behind him and leaned against it, letting out a deep sigh.
"How did it go?" Hikari asked.
Touji looked at her. She was in the kitchen, making tea. "Alright, I guess," he said. "Dealing with her is like dealing with a real demon -- I feel like she'll eat me alive if I lose focus for even an instant."
"Oh, come on," Hikari said, rolling her eyes. "She's not that bad."
"Not with you," he agreed. "Maybe not with Shinji. But for me, that's how it is." He sat at the table, gratefully accepting her tea.
"Well, at least she has some amount of respect for you now," she said.
"Is that what you call it?" he asked.
Hikari just laughed at him.

Poor bastard.

Up next: a little of this, a little of that. And within a week, not a month.

[Bagheera]

Kyoko's really fun to write.

September 20, 2030

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September 20, 2030

"Well?" she asked.
He fidgeted. "I don't know what you want me to say," he said.
She scowled. "Something other than that."
He made a nervous gesture with his hands. "But you already know everything," he said, frustrated. "You saw--"
"Yes," Kyoko interrupted, "I saw. Even in your own mind, you're a pathetic failure of a man. What of it?"
"Fine," he said, frowning. "If that's how you feel, you never have to deal with me again."
She threw up her hands. "You idiot!" she cried. "Is that what you think I want? Really?" She shook her head. "Unbelievable. That Ikari twerp is positively insightful compared to you."
The man's reply was interrupted by the arrival of another party. "Is there a problem here?" Misato asked, standing in the doorway.
Kyoko glared at her. "No," she hissed, "no problem. This is between me and my future husband. It doesn't concern you."
The man looked at Kyoko in shock, clearly unaware of her intentions. Misato looked taken aback for a moment, then collected herself and moved forward. "Leaving aside the fact that he's my father," she said, "the way you're berating him is unacceptable."
Kyoko's lip twitched. "But--"
"Ms. Soryu," Misato said, her voice full of steel, "we are all broken people. We have made mistakes. We have done terrible things. But we are trying to make amends, to heal our wounds and move forward." She smiled at the woman. "Be kind."
Kyoko's eyes narrowed. "I don't do kind," she growled.
Misato paused, giving the woman in front of her a hard stare. Then she murmured, "I know."
Kyoko's eyes went wide. She glared at Misato, trembling with rage. She spared the man, one Akira Katsuragi, a hateful glance, then stalked out of the room without another word.

"Oh dear GOD, I hate that woman," Kyoko said, pacing back and forth.
Asuka turned over a card and frowned, no closer to resolving her game. "Mother, please," she said, "calm down."
Kyoko scowled at her. "Easy for you to say," she groused. "That woman, she--"
"What did she say that was so terrible, anyway?" Asuka asked, interrupting her.
Kyoko crossed her arms and turned away with a huff. "Nothing specific," she said.
Asuka narrowed her eyes. "In other words, you're just mad because she's right."
Kyoko stiffened, then forced herself to relax. "Well, of course she's right," she huffed. "But that's hardly the point."
Asuka gave her mother a pointed stare, then sighed and stood up.
"Look, Asuka dear--" Kyoko began.
"Come on, mother." Asuka took her arm and headed for the door.
Kyoko stiffened, offering half-hearted resistance, but Asuka's grip was firm. "What?" she asked. "Where?"
"To Misato's place, of course," Asuka said.
Kyoko's eyes widened. "But--"
"You need to apologize."
"I do not!" Kyoko protested. "She--"
Asuka glared at her. "Now, mother." Her tone brooked no quarter for dissent.
Kyoko frowned, but offered no other reply.

Asuka knocked on Misato's door, Kyoko standing sullenly at her side. Presently the door opened, Misato on the other side, answering with a smile. "Heya Asuka," she chirped. "What's up?"
Asuka sighed, then pointed toward her mother. "My mother has something she wants to say," she mumbled.
Misato looked toward Kyoko expectantly.
Kyoko frowned, then said, "No, I don't."
Asuka elbowed her in the ribs. "Mama," she said, "c'mon."
Kyoko coughed. "Well," she said, "It's just that . . . "
Misato smirked. "Yes?" she asked.
Kyoko flushed. "Your father  . . . " She paled. "That is, Mr. Katsuragi, he . . . " She faltered, and went silent.
Misato offered her a soft smile. "It's not like I don't understand," she said. "He's failed me a lot, too."
Kyoko fidgeted. "If only he were  like Ikari," she said. "He's a waste, but at least he tries to make things better. Akira just . . . "
Asuka and Misato shared a glance.
"Oh my God," Asuka said.
Kyoko blinked at her. "What?" she asked. She looked at Misato, then back at Asuka. "What is it?"
"You admire him," Asuka said, pointing an accusing finger at her mother. "You admire Shinji!"
Kyoko crossed her arms. "Don't be ridiculous," she huffed.
Asuka put her hands on her hips, a goofy grin on her face. "You do! You so do!" She turned to Misato. "I'm right, aren't I?"
Misato nodded. "Sure sounds that way to me."
Kyoko flushed again. "I don't . .  . " Then she sighed, giving up. "I don't admire him, exactly. But I do admire his . . . " she frowned, considering. " . . . persistence, I suppose." She tossed her head. "And what of it? It's an admirable trait, even in an obstinate brat like Ikari."
Asuka laughed, pumping a fist in the air in victory. "Woo hoo!" she cried. "Finally, finally, FINALLY!"
Kyoko gave her a bemused glance. "If I'd known my approval meant that much to you I would have offered it years ago."
Asuka grinned at her, absolutely giddy.
Misato smiled at the girl's display, then turned her attention back to Kyoko. "Mrs. Soryu," she said, "my father's been through a lot, and he has a lot to answer for. But even so, I truly believe he's a decent man at heart. Give him time."
Kyoko scowled at her. "I was fucking him when you were barely out of diapers, Katsuragi. I'm pretty sure I know his nature better than you do."
Misato blanched at that. "Mrs. Soryu, please . . . "

Shinji made his way to the incinerator, idly wondering why he was the one who always wound up making the trip. Along the way he spied Akira Katsuragi, sitting on a bench, looking utterly dejected. He dropped off his garbage, and on the way back stopped to consider the man. After dithering for awhile he clenched his hand in decision and approached the man. "Mr. Katsuragi?" he asked. "Are you alright?"
The man started, then looked up in surprise. "Oh!" he said. "Mr. Ikari, wasn't it?"
Shinji nodded.
Katsuragi smiled at him. "I knew your father. He . . . " he frowned, trailing off.
Shinji laughed. "It's okay, sir. You don't have to say anything."
Katsuragi nodded gratefully, then fell silent.
Shinji sat beside him. "Is something wrong sir?" he asked.
Katsuragi frowned, unsure as to how to proceed. Finally he said, "Let's just say I'm . . . not very good with women."
Shinji smiled sympathetically. "Mrs. Soryu is a . . . formidable woman," he observed.
Katsuragi gave a short laugh. "That's putting it mildly."
Shinji laughed again. "I have enough trouble with her as Asuka's mother. I can't imagine how hard it must be to deal with her directly."
Katsuragi frowned. "She's not a bad person," he said.
Shinji shook his head. "No," he admitted, "of course not. But the Soryu women admire strength," he went on. "If you're weak, they expect you to rise above it. And if you're strong, they expect you to push harder in order to excel. The one thing they hate is people who give up, who run away."
Katsuragi frowned, and Shinji laughed. "I'm the same way," he said. "I want nothing more than to run away, but I know I'll disappoint her if I do. So I don't. I keep trying, even if it hurts, because I know that will inspire her to do the same thing."
The other man stroked his chin. "Is that really worth it, though? That's a terrible burden to place upon yourself, and on her."
Shinji shrugged. "Maybe it wouldn't be for some people, but it is for us." He smiled at the elder Katsuragi. "I guess it's up to you to decide, in the end."
Katsuragi frowned again, deep in thought.

Katsuragi knocked on the door before him. It opened, and he found Kyoko on the other side. She said nothing to him, just stared at him sullenly while she waited for him to speak. "I would like to speak with you," he said. He gave her a nervous half-smile. "Perhaps over coffee?"
"Tch," she said. "Afraid to talk to me in private?"
He closed his eyes and sighed. "Kyoko, please."
She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head in disgust. "Fine," she said. She grabbed her coat and stepped outside.
The walk to the cafe was short, and they endured the trip in silence. When they arrived they bought their coffee and sat down in a booth. She stared at the walls, looking at nothing in particular, while he fidgeted. Finally, he mustered up the nerve he needed to speak. "I just don't understand," he said. "Why do you want to pursue this?"
She met his gaze. "Why wouldn't I?" she asked. "Your wife's no longer in the picture, so what's stopping us?"
He flinched at the mention of his wife, but let it pass. "You don't seem to have a high opinion of me."
She deflated a bit at that. "That's not true," she said.
"Everything you say to me indicates otherwise," he said.
She put her head in her hands. She was trembling now.
"And it's not like you don't have good reasons to feel as you do," he went on. "All of us have made mistakes, but none have been as costly as mine."
She looked up at him, puzzled. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
He shrugged. "I am the man who destroyed the world, if you'll recall. Second Impact and everything that came after were my doing. Why would you want anything to do with me after that?"
She shook her head in denial. "That's not your fault," she said. "You were duped."
He laughed. "Of course I was duped," he said. "Because I'm an idiot, as you say."
"That's not why you're an idiot," she said, deadpan. She massaged her temples and took a deep breath. "Look, you organized that expedition to find out what was out there. That was your only goal. You didn't know anything about the Dead Sea Scrolls, or the Seeds, or any of the rest of it. You simply wanted to learn, to understand. And that curiosity, that hunger for knowledge is one of the things I truly love about you. The fact that that curiosity was abused for malign ends is disgusting, but you're not responsible for any of that."
"I disagree. But that aside, how can you love anything about me?" he asked. "You said you don't remember anything before your daughter's birth."
"I don't," she admitted, "at least not directly. But I saw myself through your eyes, remember? That's enough to tell me how I felt back then, and how I will feel again once things settle down."
He looked at his coffee cup. "Even so . . . "
She sighed, then placed her palms flat on the table. "It's not just that," she began. "I don't have many options, Akira; I'm old, I'm foreign, I'm psychologically damaged, and I'm physically scarred." She frowned. "I'm as human as anyone, I don't want to be alone. But I can't afford to be choosy."
"So we should settle for one another? Is that what you're saying?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I don't see it that way. I just . . . " she trailed off, then shrugged.
He sighed, then ran a hand through his hair. He looked back at her, studying her profile as she leaned on the table with her chin in her hand. "Is that why you've been so hostile?" he asked. "You've taken stock of your situation, found it wanting, and now . . . "
He was kind enough to leave the implication unsaid, but she squirmed in her seat even so. "Maybe," she said, shrugging.
He stared at her, considering. "I'm not very good at this sort of thing. You know that better than most."
"Oh, yes," she scoffed, "like I'm some sort of expert." She shook her head. "But we do have a great deal in common. That hunger for knowledge, for one. Our research interests." Her gaze darkened. "Even our failures. That's more than most people have." She leaned forward, her eyes pleading with him. "I can't be kind, Akira, but I don't . . . I don't have to be cruel. I . . . "
He laid his hands over hers. "That's enough," he said. "I'm satisfied. That's enough."

Misato Katsuragi opened the door to her apartment, then made her way to her bedroom. Kaji sat at the desk, poring over paperwork, but she paid him no mind. Instead she flopped down on the futon, dragging the pillow over her head.
"Rough day?" Kaji asked.
Misato groaned. "My father is younger than I am, and he's marrying the mother of the girl I raised as my child."
"Oh my," Kaji murmured. "How incestuous."
"Shut up," Misato grumbled.
Kaji laughed. "That's pretty quick, though," he noted. "He's only been back for a week, and as I recall she doesn't remember anything about him."
Misato rolled over. "I have no idea what's going through that woman's mind," she said. "I thought Asuka was a handful, but her mother is insane."
"Does it bother you?" he asked.
She snorted. "Hell no," she said. "As long as it doesn't hurt us or the kids my dad can marry a turnip for all I care." She frowned. "It's gonna be weird having Asuka as a stepsister, though."
Kaji scratched his head. "Our family tree is getting awfully confusing," he said.
"'Getting?'" she asked. "Don't forget about poor Shinji and Rei!"
"Heh. Good point." He frowned. "But even so, this is . . . well . . . " He scratched his head again. "Hmmm."
"Don't remind me," she said. She smirked. "Heh. Asuka's gonna lose her mind. First I take her crush, then my dad takes her mother, and now she officially has to call me family." She sat up suddenly as inspiration struck. "Oh, man," she said, a devious smile playing about her lips. "This is gonna be fun."
"Now now," he said. "Don't forget, she's your adopted daughter."
"I know," Misato said, gleefully rubbing her hands together. "That just means I get to dig into her that much more."
Kaji winced. "You're a dangerous woman, Katsuragi."
Misato laughed, a low, sultry laugh. "And don't you forget it, mister."

Shinji was playing video games when Asuka found him. He was sitting cross-legged, his face a mask of concentration as he focused on trying to beat the game's current level. But that was of no consequence at the moment; Asuka was happy, and she was going to share her happiness with him -- whether he wanted it or not.
She made her way toward him, mischief in her eyes, and when she reached him she crawled into his lap.
Shinji let out a sound of annoyance. "Asuka, I'm trying to--" The rest of his protest was cut off, as Asuka had covered his mouth with hers and was kissing him deeply. He let the controller fall from his hand, the game instantly forgotten.
Asuka straddled him, twining her arms around his neck and pressing close. When she finally came up for air Asuka flashed him an impish grin, then hugged him warmly. In his confusion he could only think to respond accordingly, wrapping his arms around her back. She gave him another squeeze and drew back, smiling down at him.
He studied her, frowning thoughtfully. "You seem to be in a good mood," he observed.
She nodded. "Mmm-hmmm." She cupped his face with her hands and kissed him again.
Between kisses Shinji asked, "What brought this on?"
Asuka paused for breath and grinned again. "Mama said she admires you."
He scowled at her. "That doesn't sound likely."
She laughed. "I know, but she said it. Misato was there, she can vouch for me."
"That's . . . um . . . huh." He laughed sheepishly. "I don't know what to make of that."
She pressed close, hugging him again. "She was complaining about Misato's dad, and said she wished he was more like you." She closed her eyes. "I was so happy. I didn't know how much her approval mattered, but it does. It matters so much."
Shinji held her tightly. "That's wonderful, Asuka," he said. "I'm so happy for you." They drew back again, and he smiled when he saw the happiness in her eyes. "I love seeing you like this."
She flashed him a wicked grin. "You're gonna see a lot more of me in a few seconds, stupid Shinji," she said, pulling her shirt over her head and tossing it aside. Shinji's eyes widened in surprise, but he played along when she pushed him down to the floor and got to work.

Up next: It's Asuka's birthday! In 2018. I'm sure that will go well.

[Bagheera]

December 4, 2018

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December 4, 2018

Asuka awoke, screaming. She scrambled to the head of her bed, clawing at her eyes in frustration. But the memories remained, nestled deep in her mind where they would never stop tormenting her. She rolled out of bed and started slamming her head on the floor. After the third blow she felt hands around her.
"Asuka, stop!" Shinji yelled.
She shook him off, violently, and scrambled away from him. "Get away from me!" she yelled. She used the wall to pull herself to her feet, and fought off a wave of dizziness as she did so. "You didn't do a damn thing," she muttered. "You didn't even try. You . . . " she shook her head, then made her way out of her bedroom and toward the front door.
"Asuka!" Shinji called.
She ignored him.
"Asuka, wait!" he insisted.
She whirled on him, a sneer on her lips, but stopped in her tracks when she saw he was holding a pair of her shorts. She glared at him, then wordlessly snatched them from his hand and drew them on, making a deliberate effort to avoid looking at him all the while. She slipped her feet into a pair of sandals before heading outside.
She walked aimlessly, with no set goal in mind. Shinji followed, keeping a discreet distance, but never letting her out of his sight. Eventually she spun about. "What, are you my stalker now?" she demanded, staring daggers at him. "Stupid pervert!"
Shinji cringed, but didn't reply. For some reason that enraged Asuka, and with a growl she spun on her heels and stalked off. Every once in awhile she would stop, grabbing hold of a wall or a lamp post while she collected herself, before trudging onward. It wasn't long before she came upon a sturdy wall, which she proceeded to punch with all of her strength.
"Are you alright?" a voice asked.
Asuka stared at her. Then she looked at her hand, broken and bleeding. "No," she said, "I'm not."
The woman cringed. She was young, Asuka noted, barely over twenty. "I see," she said. "Should I call a doctor?"
Asuka shook her head. "No," she said. "I'm . . . no."
The woman twitched, uncertain. "Um .  . . " she began.
Asuka's eyes narrowed. 'They ate me," she said.
The woman blinked at her in confusion. "They . . . what?"
"They ate me," Asuka said. She looked at the woman. "Isn't that insane?" she asked. "How can you remember being eaten? If they eat you, you're dead, right?"
The woman stared at her. "That . . . that must be difficult," she said.
Asuka nodded. "Yes," she said.
The woman said nothing.
Asuka laughed. "You believe me?" she asked.
The woman nodded. "Yes," she said. "I don't understand the particulars, but . . . yes, I believe you."
"Heh," Asuka said.
The woman looked at Shinji. "Who is he?" she asked.
"Hmmm?" Asuka asked. "Oh, him. No one," she said. She frowned. "A friend, I guess."
The woman looked at her. "You guess?"
Asuka shrugged. "It's complicated," she said.
The woman shrugged. "Well, as long as he won't bother you."
Asuka shook her head. "He won't," she said. "I'm sure of it."
The woman shrugged again, then went about her business.
After a time, Asuka asked, "Matsumoto Castle's near here, isn't it?"
The woman blinked, nonplussed. "Yes," she said, "it is. It's right up the road."
Asuka nodded. "Right, then."
The woman's frown deepened. "But the gates don't open until 8:30 a.m.," she noted.
Asuka waved her off. "That's fine," she said. "I'll wait."

Eventually, she came to the gates of Matsumoto castle. As promised they were closed, on account of the hour. Asuka sank to her knees before them, her shoulders slumped.
Shinji bit his lip, wondering. Then he approached her. He knelt beside her, staring at her, trying to understand. When she turned to look at him the hatred in her eyes was gone, leaving in its wake a mixture of pain and heartbreaking vulnerability. "I hate this," she whimpered.
"I know," he said. He put an arm around her.
She pulled away from him, pushing him back. "Don't," she said.
He frowned. "What do you want from me?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I don't know," she said. She shrugged, then said, "Sorry, I just . . . don't know."
He scratched his head. He sighed, then sat with her, trying to be patient.
She pulled back from him a few minutes later, sniffling and wiping her eyes with her forearm. He studied her for a few moments, then asked, "Are you ready to go back now?"
She shook her head. "Not really," she said.
He frowned.
She glared at him. "What?" she asked.
"I'm just worried you might have hurt yourself this morning," he said. "You were wobbling a bit when you were walking, you know."
She huffed at him. "Were you staring at me again?"
"It's not like that!" he protested.
"Oh really," she said, giving him a pointed stare.
His eyes widened. "I didn't mean . . . " he began. "I mean, I like looking at you, I just--"
She laughed at him. "Give it up, Third. You've already lost."
He sighed. "Fine," he said. "But either way we should probably get going."
She nodded. "Alright." She stood up, and would have fallen over again if Shinji hadn't caught her.
"Asuka!" he exclaimed. "Are you alright?"
"Yeah, I just . . . " She shook her head, trying to shake off the dizziness, then decided that was a bad idea. "Ow," she said. She looked at her hand, at her bloodied knuckles, and winced. "I, um . . . damn."
"You probably gave yourself a concussion," he said, worry in his voice. "Maybe we should go to the hospital . . . "
She pushed away from him, waving him off. "No! I'm fine, just . . . just take me home."
Shinji opened his mouth to argue with her, but she'd already started walking. He caught up to her, watching her nervously the whole way home.

When Asuka entered Misato's apartment, the latter turned and said, "Asuka, where have you been? We were--" She broke off when she saw the wound on Asuka's forehead, the blood on her face, her damaged hand. Her eyes widened in panic, and she yelped, "Oh my God, what happened to you?"
Asuka just shrugged, sitting in a chair at the kitchen table. Misato wasn't alone, she noted. Hikari and Touji were also there.
"She had a flashback," Shinji said. "A really bad one."
"Oh, geez," Misato said. She looked at Asuka. "Are you alright?" she asked.
Asuka shrugged again, while Shinji went to get the first aid kit and Hikari grabbed a towel from the kitchen to help Asuka clean up. Misato frowned, then looked at Shinji. "Is she alright?" she asked.
He nodded. "I think so. She might have a concussion, though."
Asuka scowled at him. "I'm sitting right here, you know."
Shinji laughed nervously. "Sorry, Asuka," he said. "But it's true; we're just looking out for you."
Asuka huffed, then turned to Hikari. "What are you doing here?" she asked.
Hikari gave her a nervous smile. "It's your birthday, Asuka," she said. "We were making preparations for a party."
Asuka blinked. "My birthday?" she asked.
Misato smiled at her. "I guess you haven't had cause to think about that for the past few years, huh?" She grinned. "But we remembered! Shinji insisted we do something for you, with presents and everything! So, here we are!"
"Shinji, huh?" Asuka stared at the man bandaging her fingers. "Sorry to wreck your plans," she murmured.
He shook his head. "It's fine," he said. "I'm just glad you're alright."
"Oh?" she asked. "Am I, now?"
Shinji flushed. "Well, um . . . "
Touji coughed, clearing his throat. "C'mon, Soryu, Shinji's trying really hard to make you happy. Cut him some slack."
"Hmmm?" Asuka murmured. She looked at Touji, then at Shinji. "Is that what you want?" she asked. "To make me happy?"
Shinji gave her a pointed stare. "You know it is," he said.
She cradled her injured hand, scowling at him as she said, "Stupid Shinji. It's not like I'm trying to be a bitch, here."
Shinji smiled at her. "Of course not," he said. "I know that."
Hikari clapped her hands together, smiling gleefully. "So cute!" she said. "You two are perfect together!"
Both of them turned to her and growled, "It's not like that!"

After Shinji bound Asuka's wounds, the party proceeded more-or-less as planned. But for Asuka, it was awkward.
Misato noticed, of course. "What's up, Asuka dear?" she asked.
Asuka frowned. "No one's ever thrown me a birthday party before," she said. "I've never known anyone who wanted to."
Misato cringed, but patted the girl's back encouragingly. "There's no mystery to it," she said. "We throw you a party because we love you, that's all." She smiled at Asuka. "All you have to do is accept it."
"But--" the girl began.
"Asuka," Shinji said, interrupting her, "stop being an idiot."
Misato chuckled at that, and Hikari laughed as well, while Asuka clenched her fists and glared at the boy. Misato hugged her, saying "C'mon, Asuka. Let us take care of you. You are not alone, y'know?"
Asuka stared at her bandaged hand for a moment, then looked at her friends. Finally she sighed, and said, "I demand cake."
"Whaaaaaat?" Misato asked, dismayed.
Asuka turned up her chin, defiant. "It's my birthday," she said. "I deserve cake."
Misato smirked, then nodded at Shinji. The boy made his way toward the kitchen, while Misato addressed her charge. "Good thing we prepared accordingly, then." Shinji produced a glorious cake, German chocolate no less, and laid it in front of Asuka. "Happy birthday, Asuka dear," Misato said.
Asuka stared at Misato, tears rolling down her cheeks.
"I wasn't kidding when I said you were loved, Asuka," Misato said. "We'll take care of you, no matter what."
Asuka just stared at her cake, Hikari and Shinji both smiling at her.
"Better cut it, kiddo," Misato said. "People are getting hungry."
Asuka nodded. "Right!" she said. She cut the cake, and the party proceeded as such things do.

This still needs polish. It's functional -- what's said and done works -- but it's conveyed clumsily.

[Bagheera]

Current chapter is kicking my ass; it's long, and complex, and involves Instrumentality. It is taking time to do it properly. But in the meantime, inspiration struck:

August 11, 2024

(click to show/hide)

August 11, 2024

"Can I ask you something?" he asked.
"Hmmm?" Asuka gave him a quizzical look, staring at him over the remnants of breakfast on her empty plate.
Shinji squirmed in his seat. "It's kind of sensitive," he said. "I mean--"
"Stop it," she huffed. "You're being weird."
"But--"
She glared at him. "Just spit it out," she said.
"Okay," he said. He took a deep breath. "When you were fighting the Evas--"
He broke off as Asuka's fist hit the table. "You can't be serious," she said. Her voice was barely above a whisper, but that did nothing to diminish the menace in its tone.
Shinji licked his lips, then continued. "I was just wondering," he said. "Your mother was there, right? I mean, she was with you."
Asuka stared at him, her eyes locked with his, then broke off with a sigh. "Not this again," she said, running a hand through her hair.
"Sorry," he said.
Asuka tapped the table with a finger, thinking. Finally she said, "yes, she was with me."
"What was it like?" he asked, leaning forward. "Being with her, having her there with you. What was it like?"
She closed her eyes. "It was nice," she said. "The best feeling in the world. She was all around me, protecting me, keeping me safe." She opened her eyes. "I don't think I've ever been happier than I was in those few moments."
"So you knew it was her, right?" he asked. "It wasn't just some vague feeling?"
She nodded. "Yeah, I knew it was her. She was right there with me, protecting me."
"Of course I was," Kyoko said, coming into the kitchen. "What mother wouldn't be?"
"Mama . . . " Asuka said.
Kyoko frowned. "What? I'm just saying--"
"Mama, stop." Asuka's voice was soft, but the command in it was unmistakable.
Kyoko looked from her daughter to Ikari, who was trembling, and then back again. Finally she shrugged. "Fine, fine," she said, indifferent. She opened the refrigerator and retrieved a bottle of orange juice.
Shinji put his face in his hands. "Why would she leave?" he asked. "I just . . . I don't understand. She left me there, in the middle of . . . of a wasteland, and she just . . . " He looked at Kyoko. "Why would she do that? Am I really that awful?"
Kyoko frowned, then sat down, placing her glass of juice on the table in front of her. "It had nothing to do with you," she said flatly.
"But--"
"A mother loves her child," she said simply.
He blinked at her. "What do you mean?"
"Just what I said," she replied. "A mother loves her child. He might be unpleasant, a failure, even a criminal, but she loves him just the same. It doesn't matter who he is or what he's done. A mother loves her child."
Shinji made to strike the table with his fist, then laid his palms flat against it instead. "Then why," he asked, deliberately, "did she leave?"
Kyoko tapped her chin, thinking. "There was something wrong with her," she murmured. Her eyes brightened. "I knew her once, did you know that?"
He shook his head.
"We went to college together, as I understand it. She and I spent a bit of time together after you and Asuka were born, before Asuka and I left for Germany."
Asuka laughed. "So we'd met before?" she asked. "Me and stupid Shinji, I mean."
Kyoko nodded, smiling. "I actually remember that, too. I remember staring down at you, thinking you were the cutest thing ever, while Yui did the same with Shinji."
Asuka smirked at Shinji. "How about that, eh? The red string of fate bound us together even then." She frowned. "Kind of depressing, now that I think about it."
Shinji laughed weakly.
"Back then," Kyoko went on, "she was like any other mother, and it was clear she adored you. But at some point, after we left for Germany, something changed. I don't know what it was, but I know it had nothing to do with you." She frowned, thinking. "I don't remember the details," she said, "but I think she sent me . . . letters?" She nodded. "Yes, that's right. Langley found them. She didn't say anything specific, of course, but as I recall she wanted to ensure that you'd have a future of sorts, no matter how difficult."
Shinji leaned forward. "So it was for my sake, then?" he asked. "She wasn't some, some crazy person, some lunatic bent on saving the Angels?"
"Well, I don't know anything about that," Kyoko said, frowning. "But it seems she had very few options available to her. I think she just did the best she could under the circumstances."
Shinji closed his eyes and sank into his chair, visibly relaxing. Asuka took his hand in hers and breathed a silent "thank you" to her mother.
Kyoko shrugged uncomfortably and took a sip of her juice.

Hopefully I manage to get the big one whipped into shape this weekend.

[Bagheera]

This is an effort to put the subject of Yui's motivations, and Shinji's reaction to them, to bed once and for all. It also has Kyoko helping out because, hey, Kyoko. Okay, here we go!

August 13, 2024

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August 13, 2024

Kyoko stomped into the living room, fuming with rage. "Damn that Yui Ikari!" she fumed. "Damn her to hell!"
Asuka looked up from her work. "Bad dream?" she asked.
Kyoko's lip twisted up in a sneer. "I wish she was here right now, so I could wring her scrawny little neck!" She closed her eyes, livid, then looked up when she felt a sudden chill in the room. Shinji and Asuka were both staring at her, wide-eyed. She grimaced and said "Sorry. Bad choice of words."
Asuka stared at her for a moment, then shook herself and sighed. "I don't know why you keep getting so worked up about her," she said. "It's not like she could have done things any differently."
Kyoko stared at her, incredulous. "Of course she could have!" she said. "She chose to get in the Eva. She chose to conceal its true nature from the rest of us. She chose to stand idly by while we were killed. And she chose to leave the damn planet!"
Asuka shrugged. "And if she hadn't chosen to do any of those things, we'd all be dead or worse now."
"What are you talking about?" Kyoko asked.
Asuka looked at her. Her mother seemed genuinely confused. Shinji was also staring at her, clearly puzzled.
"I . . . " she began. "We've talked about this. I know we have."
"No," Shinji said. He drew out the word to make the point. "We talked about how she knew about the true nature of the Eva and her choice to keep that information to herself. And we talked about what Professor Fuyutsuki said and her plan to save the Angels. And then a couple of days ago Mrs. Soryu said she thought she wanted to ensure my future, but . . . " He shrugged.
"Well, yeah," Asuka said. The way she said it made it clear she thought this explained everything.
Shinji sighed in exasperation. "Asuka, not all of us are as smart as you are. Throw me a bone here."
"Sorry, sorry," Asuka said, laughing. "I spend so much time dealing with her work that I forget it's not obvious to everyone else."
Kyoko narrowed her eyes. "Explain," she said.
"Well," Asuka began, "take the Eva. If she had told you about its true nature . . . if she had told you the Contact Experiment would kill you, that it would transfer your soul to the Eva, and that I'd have to pilot it, would you have gone through with it?"
Kyoko scoffed at her. "Of course not."
"Right," Asuka said, nodding, "no reasonable person would. So what happens when the Angels show up a decade later and the Evas can't be used to stop them?"
Kyoko frowned. "Tch."
"She still let you and your mother be killed," Shinji said. His expression darkened. "And she still left the Earth."
Asuka sighed. "That was for your benefit," she said softly.
He blinked, surprised. "What? How can you say that?"
"Let's say she intervened in our battle," she said. "Let's say she let you help us destroy the Mass Production Evangelions. What then?"
He fidgeted. "Well . . . "
"Misato and Kaji would be dead," she said, "and so would everyone else who died since Second Impact."
"Even so . . . " he began.
"And more importantly," she went on, "the Evas would still be here."
"So what?" he asked.
She stared at him. "The Evas are weapons, Shinji."
Shinji's breath caught. He closed his eyes as understanding began to set in.
Kyoko looked from one to the other and back again. "What is it?" she asked. "What am I missing?"
"She's right," Shinji said. "No matter their capabilities, the Evas are, and always have been, weapons first and foremost. If they were still around, we'd be forced to pilot."
"That's ridiculous," Kyoko said. "With no Angels to fight there'd be nothing for the Eva to do. No one could make you pilot if you don't want to."
"It's not that simple," Shinji said. "What happens if someone takes Asuka hostage, and tells me he'll kill her if I don't obey? I don't want to fight other people, but if it's to protect her? Or Misato? Or anyone else I care about? Yeah, I'd fight. And so would she. We'd have no choice."
"Hmmm," Kyoko said. She frowned in thought. "So that was her plan? Create the Evas, fight the Angels, and then ensure the Evas' destruction?"
Asuka nodded. "That's the way I understand it, at least."
"But then why didn't she just destroy Unit 01 as well?" Shinji asked. "She had the Lance, didn't she?"
"That wasn't part of the deal," Asuka said.
"Deal? What deal?" Shinji asked. "What are you talking about?"
"Ah," Kyoko said. "Now I get it. You're talking about that nonsense about saving the Angels, aren't you?"
"Yeah," Asuka said.
Shinji shot Kyoko an inquiring look.
"The Lance," Kyoko explained, "is a sentient being. It has its own goals, and while it can be used as a weapon it cannot be commanded. So, if I'm understanding correctly, Yui used the Angels as collateral to convince the Lance, and presumably Lilith, to transform her into a Seed of Life. She would then be able to leave the Earth, and thus ensure you would never have to pilot again."
Asuka nodded. "That's what I think, yeah."
"And I suppose it was just dumb luck that we were killed in the manner we were, and she just shrugged and assumed it would all work out in the end."
Asuka laughed nervously. "Well . . . "
"Hmmm." Kyoko thought for a moment, then shrugged. "She's still a bitch."
Shinji nodded. "Yup."
Asuka sighed, and gave up.

"Shinji?" she asked. They were lying on the bed, side by side, savoring one another's company. She lay with her hands behind her head, he with one arm on his stomach and the other at his side.
"Hmmm?"
"Do you really feel that way?" she went on. "About your mother, I mean. Do you really think she's--"
He shook his head in the dark. "No," he said, "not really."
She was silent a moment. "You synchronized with her," she said. "You had to have known how she felt."
"Yes," he said, nodding. "That was what made is so difficult; I knew she loved me, so I couldn't understand why she'd leave me like that. It didn't make sense to me."
Long seconds ticked by as she mulled things over in her mind. "It must have been difficult for her," she said.
He chuckled.
"What's so funny?" she asked.
"Nothing," he said. "I just think it's funny that you're the one defending her. She hurt you more than any of us."
"Yeah," she said. She frowned. "It was hard at first, studying her work. I couldn't even look at it for weeks. But once I got into it, and started to understand her . . . I dunno. It just became hard to hate her, I guess. And then," she smirked, "mother showed me those pictures--"
"Ugh," he said, wincing. "Don't remind me."
She laughed at him. "What?" she asked. "I thought you were very cute."
"Tch."
"More importantly," she went on, "I saw Yui's face in them. And after that . . . " she shook her head. "There was just no way I could think she was crazy after that. That was a woman who loved her family, not some nutcase with delusions of grandeur. It just didn't make any sense."
"Yeah," he said, distracted. "I guess that's true."
She held out a hand in front of her. "Can you imagine?" she asked. "Actually bargaining with something like the Lance? She must have been terrified."
"You sound like you admire her," he said.
She shrugged. "I don't know about that, but having the guts to do that, and being willing to endure eternity alone for the sake of your family . . . " she shuddered. "I don't think I could do that."
"Oh, I bet you could," he said.
She scoffed at him. "Don't flatter yourself," she said.
He glanced at her sidelong. "I'm flattering you, dummy."
"Oh." She blinked. "Well then," she said, sidling closer to him, "that's fine."
"Heh." He wrapped his arm around her, nuzzling her neck as he did, and they drifted off to sleep.

Next will be Heishiro! Still working on that, it will hopefully show up tomorrow.

Edit: Oh dear gods, a month and a half??? Sorry folks, I've really been lagging behind lately. I'll try to do better going forward!

[Bagheera]

I added a bit to the previous scene (scroll up), and here's the newest one:

March 23, 2027

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March 23, 2027

"I didn't even know Mr. Kaji had a brother," Shinji said.
Asuka glanced at him sidelong. She sat with her hands behind her head in the back seat, Shinji beside her as Misato drove. "He doesn't talk about him much," she said. "I never learned why."
Misato looked at her in the rearview mirror. "Heishiro died shortly after Second Impact," she said. "Kaji was responsible."
Shinji's eyes widened. "Responsible? How?"
Misato frowned, deliberating, then shrugged. "I guess it can't hurt to tell you," she said. "Kaji and his brother were part of a gang back then, a bunch of kids scavenging whatever they could to survive. They made a habit of breaking into U.N. storehouses to steal food, and one day Kaji got caught. They gave him a choice: either he told them where his friends were hiding out, or they'd shoot him right then and there. Kaji told them, and they let him go. He tried to beat them back to the hideout, to warn his friends, but he was too late. When he got there they were all dead. He's never forgiven himself for that."
"Jeez," Asuka said, grimacing. "That sucks."
"It was a very different time back then," Misato said.
"Tch. I wonder how his brother will react?" Asuka asked. "I mean, they had to have seen one another in Instrumentality, right?"
Misato shrugged. "I'm not sure," she said. "Kaji seemed to think they'd mostly sorted things out, but he was awfully nervous when he left today. So, I dunno."

Kaji stood before the door of the hospital room, willing himself to enter. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then opened the door.
The boy on the bed was as he remembered him: all of twelve years old, wearing a backwards-facing baseball cap and an irreverent demeanor. But the resentment in his face . . . that was new. The boy looked at him, wide-eyed, then scowled and looked away. "Who the fuck are you?" he asked.
Kaji gave him a weak smile. "It's me, Heishiro," he said. "I'm your brother, Ryoji."
"Liar!" Heishiro spat. "My brother is only a few years older than I am, not some . . . some . . . some old man!"
Kaji winced, then pressed on. "A lot has happened since then," he said. "We've . . . the world has . . . "
Heishiro scoffed at him. "You think I'm stupid, old man?" He paused, as tears came to his face. "My brother would never . . . he'd never . . . " He broke off, crying.
Kaji reached out to him. "Heishiro," he began, " I--"
'You sold us out, you bastard!" Heishiro screamed. "You sold us out to save your own skin! You . . . you . . . " he broke off.
"I know," Kaji said. "What I did was unforgivable. There's nothing I can do to apologize, so I won't even try."
Heishiro stared at the ground, fuming with resentment.
Kaji cleared his throat. "Look, apart from that, we have to figure out your living situation," he said.
Heishiro glared at him. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"Well," Kaji said, "we've set you up with a nice foster family. People will be looking after you--"
"What the fuck!" Heishiro exclaimed. "You're just gonna palm me off on some strangers?"
"Well--" Kaji began.
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Heishiro yelled. "You can't just--"
Kaji held out a placating hand. "Hey now," he said, "take it easy. I wasn't trying to get rid of you, I just assumed--"
"Tch," Heishiro spat. "Yeah, I get it. You just assumed. Typical."
Kaji's hand dropped to his side. "What do you want me to say?" he asked.
"I don't want to live with strangers," the boy mumbled.
"Well, after what happened . . . " Kaji trailed off, then shrugged.
Heishiro shook his head. "Forget it," he said. "I'm not doing it." He was silent for a few moments, then looked at Kaji directly. "It's not like I don't understand," he said, his voice low. "They had a gun to your head. What were you supposed to do? And besides," he added, shrugging, "they probably would have caught us all eventually anyway."
Kaji frowned. "If you want . . . " he began. "I mean, you can stay with me, if you like. I guess it'll be kinda weird, but--"
"I don't wanna stay with strangers," Heishiro said. He shook his head. "Fuck that."
Kaji sighed, then nodded. "Okay, then." He laughed. "Man, how am I gonna explain this to Misato? She's gonna kill me."
"Who's Misato?" Heishiro asked.

Heishiro looked around the apartment, then nodded in satisfaction. "Nice digs,", he said. He spied Misato, then added, "Who's the old lady?"
Misato glared at him. "Old lady?" she snarled.
Heishiro nodded. "Yeah," he said, "You're old, and you're a lady. Hence, old lady."
Kaji winced, holding up his hands. "Now now, Misato," he said. "He's just a kid--"
"Tch," she said. "He's a kid who needs to learn some manners!"
Heishiro stuck out his tongue, utterly unrepentant.
Misato grabbed a fistful of the boy's hair, holding his head steady while she stared directly into his eyes. "Listen, you little twerp. I'll cut you some slack since you're Kaji's brother, but get this straight: this is my home. You're here because I allow it, so show me some respect."
Heishiro struggled for a bit, but her grip didn't waver. Neither did her stare. It only took a few seconds for him to give in. "Fine, whatever you want!" he whined. "Just let me go!"
Misato grinned, her demeanor changing in an instant. She ruffled Heishiro's hair and said, "That's better! Welcome to the home of Misato Katsuragi!"
Heishiro groaned as Misato manhandled him.
Kaji smirked. "Get used to it, kid," he said. "Misato's a hardass, but she loves her family. Best to suck it up and soldier on."
Misato grinned. Heishiro whined. Kaji sighed. All was right with the world.

I might elaborate on it later, get some interaction with Shinji and/or Asuka and Heishiro. But, this will do for now.

Next: Not sure. I'm kicking around a side story in my head where the kids deal with becoming parents themselves. In true Eva fashion it will not be the typical parenthood route -- Asuka doesn't even want children, and Shinji's ambivalent at best about the subject. But shit happens, and they have to deal. I'm thinking of doing it as a separate story since all of the chapters will be related, and I think they would lose focus if they were part of the main fic (particularly if I'm doing other stuff at the same time). I'm still not sure it will happen at all, but I think I can get some solid mileage out of the idea, and that it will bring many of Eva's themes full circle, so that's why I'm developing the idea.

[Bagheera]

This one's short, but sometimes not much needs to be said:

June 4, 2035

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June 4, 2035

Shinji entered the room, then closed the door behind him. He turned, looking at the figure seated at the only table in the room. He was just as he remembered him: heavy coat, despite Japan's eternal summer; white gloves; tinted glasses. His hands stretched before him on the table, palms down. Shinji met his gaze. "Hello, father," he said.
Gendo Ikari nodded, then waited while the younger man took his seat. After a moment he said, "It's been a while."
Shinji nodded. "Yes."
"Are you well?" his father asked.
Shinji looked away, shrugging slightly. "Most days," he said. "Better than Asuka, at least."
Gendo cocked his head. "The Second Child?"
Shinji didn't reply.
Gendo stroked his chin thoughtfully. "I never met her," he mused.
Shinji's jaw clenched. "No," he said.
Gendo returned his hand to the table. "I suppose I should have," he said.
Shinji shrugged again. "It doesn't matter," he said. He looked at his father. "We have a daughter, she and I. She'll be three years old in a few weeks."
"I see," Gendo said. His voice betrayed no emotion.
"She's . . . " Shinji paused, then looked at his father and said, "I never knew they could be so frightening. Children, I mean."
Gendo's eyes widened a fraction. He held his son's gaze for several moments, then looked away. "Yes," he said, nodding.
Shinji shifted nervously in his seat. Gendo opened his mouth to speak, then thought better of it. His hand twitched nervously. "Your mother," he said. "Did you see her?"
Shinji closed his eyes. Of course, he thought. "Yes."
Gendo stared at him, then cleared his throat. "What did she say?"
"She said that as long as I was alive, I would have a chance to find happiness. She said that everything would be alright."
Gendo frowned. "Do you know why she left?"
Shinji shrugged. "She said the Eva would last forever, and that it would be eternal proof that mankind existed." He laughed lightly. "Well, that's what she said, anyway. But I was just a kid back then, so maybe there was more to it than that." He frowned, thinking. "Professor Fuyutsuki said she might have wanted to continue Adam's work on another world. But Asuka's mother thinks that's silly, and that all my mother wanted was to make sure the Eva could never hurt me again." He shrugged, then met his father's gaze. "I'm sorry, I don't know the truth of it beyond that."
Gendo leaned back in his chair. "All for nothing," he whispered. He looked at Shinji, a hint of regret in his eyes, then looked away. "That will be all," he said. "You may leave now."
Shinji nodded, then stood. As he turned to leave, his hand on the door, he looked back at his father. "After the trial," he said, "You'll likely be sent to prison."
Gendo nodded. "Yes."
"I can visit you, if you like." His voice was quiet, but the resolve in it was unmistakable.
"That won't be necessary," Gendo said.
Shinji looked back at the door, clenching the doorknob tightly. "And if I came anyway?" he asked.
Gendo stared at his son's back, his lips parted in surprise. He regained his composure and leaned forward, leaning on his elbows as he crossed his hands before his face. "Fine," he said. "Do as you like."
Shinji nodded slightly, then opened the door and left the room.

[Bagheera]

Oh wow, I actually worked on what I planned to for a change. Here's Shinji and Asuka on Kaworu, take two:

November 23, 2018

(click to show/hide)

November 23, 2018

"I'm home," Shinji said.
Asuka looked up from her manga as Shinji entered the apartment. "Welcome home," she said.
Shinji dropped his backpack by the door, then shuffled into the living room. He crossed to within a few feet of her, then slumped to the floor, back to the wall.
She frowned. "How was therapy?" she asked.
He shrugged.
"Not good, huh?" she said.
It took a few moments for Shinji to answer. "We talked about Kaworu," he said.
"Who?" she asked. Then she nodded and said, "Oh, right. Homo-boy."
Shinji scowled at her. "Don't call him that!" he snapped.
Asuka flinched, startled. "What's your problem?" she fired back.
"He was my friend!" he said. "Don't make fun of him like that."
"Don't be stupid," she said. "He was an Angel, he--"
"I don't care!" Shinji yelled.
She opened her mouth, ready to chew him out, but she held her tongue.
"It doesn't matter," he went on, his voice subdued. "If he was my friend, he died, and you shouldn't talk about him like that." He swallowed thickly. "And if he wasn't, if he was my enemy, he . . . hurt me." His voice was shaking now; he was on the verge of tears.
Asuka's lip curled, a mixture of sympathy and disgust marring her pretty features. She stared at him for a moment, then blew out a breath, deciding the argument wasn't worth the effort. "Whatever," she mumbled.
Shinji ground the heel of his palm against his forehead, forgetting about her for the moment. Asuka frowned, then sighed. She stood and made her way to the kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and retrieved a plate of rice balls, then returned to Shinji's side and sat down, placing the plate between them. She picked up a rice ball and held it out to him. "Here," she said.
Shinji blinked in surprise, then accepted the snack. "Th . . . thank you," he stammered.
She shrugged. As he started to eat she said, "I bought some stuff at the store today, fixings for stir fry. I'll make some later."
Shinji shook his head. "You don't have to," he said. "I can--"
"Stupid Shinji!" she spat. "You think I like being a leech all the time? I can do my share, same as you!"
"N-no, I--"
"Shut up!"
"I didn't mean--" he began. He broke off, sighing. "Sorry, Asuka," he said. "I didn't mean anything by it, really. Thank you."
"Tch," she mumbled. "Idiot."

Shinji lay in his room, staring at the ceiling. "Asuka?" He asked. "Are you awake?"
"Stupid Shinji," she grumbled. "If I wasn't before I would be now."
"Sorry," he said.
Her lip curled up in a sneer. That damn word! She sighed, willing herself to calm down. "Well?" she asked. "What do you want?"
Shinji chewed his lip for a moment, then asked, "Do you really think Kaworu was my enemy?"
"Tch. Why are you asking me?" she asked. "I never even met the guy."
"I know. But even so . . . " he began.
Asuka was silent for a few moments. Eventually she said, "I used to think the Angels were monsters. Terrible, alien beasts bent on destroying everyone. But Misato says they're human beings, like us. That their souls are the same as ours."
"Yeah," Shinji said. "She told me that once, too."
"If that's true," she went on, "maybe he was just lonely. Maybe he didn't know anything about being human, and just told you what he thought you wanted to hear. Or maybe he was your enemy, and changed his mind after talking to you. If he really was a person he could change his mind, just like anyone else."
"Heh. I thought only girls could do that," Shinji said mildly.
She scowled at him. "Are you looking for a beating, Third?"
"Sorry, sorry," he said, laughing. "I'm just kidding."
"Tch," she said. "Go to sleep, stupid Shinji. I've had enough irritation for one day."
"Alright," he said. He was quiet for a moment. Then, "Asuka?"
She ground her teeth in irritation. "Whaaaat?"
"Thanks," he said. "Sometimes, you're really nice."
"Tch. I'm always nice," she grumbled.
He laughed at her, his mood noticeably improved. She frowned at him, then turned on her side, facing the wall. "Idiot," she mumbled.

Next up will be Asuka's first session with Dr. Okada.

[Bagheera]

As promised:

September 19, 2018

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September 19, 2018

Dr. Okada followed Asuka into his office, then sat in a chair while she took the couch. He kept the door open. "Good morning, Ms. Soryu. How are you feeling today?"
The girl drew her knees up to her chest and turned to stare at a wall in disinterest. "Like shit," she said.
The doctor frowned. "I'm sorry to hear that," he said. "I'll skip the pleasantries, then. Would you care for something to drink? Coffee, perhaps?"
"Whatever," the girl said.
He produced a can of coffee from the cooler by his chair, then handed it over. Asuka took it in hand, but didn't bother opening it. "Is there anything you'd like to talk about?" he asked.
"Not really," Asuka said.
"Hmmm." Dr. Okada scrutinized the girl carefully. "You sound like you don't want to be here," he said.
"Brilliant observation," the girl drawled.
The doctor shrugged. "Well, you can leave if you like."
Asuka shot him a quick glare, then returned her attention to the wall. "No I can't," she said. "If I did I'd never hear the end of it from Misato."
"Is that the only reason?" he asked.
She shrugged.
"Ms. Soryu," he began, "what would you like to accomplish with these sessions?"
"How about not getting raped?" she said acidly. "Can we manage that? That would be great."
Dr. Okada closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath. "I'm very sorry about that," he said. "I could make excuses about how we didn't know, but of course that's all they would be. But let me assure you, you won't see a repeat of that behavior here."
Asuka stared at him for a moment, then at the open door. "Whatever," she said. She opened the can of coffee and took a long swig. "Not like it fucking matters. I'm used to it by now."
"Oh?" the doctor asked.
"Everyone I've ever known has used me like that. My parents, Nerv, Misato, the boys at school, stupid Shinji  . . . that fucking doctor. They just use me to get what they want, and then they throw me away like garbage when they're done." She shrugged. "And why wouldn't they? Seems to be all I'm good for."
He ignored her question. "Is that true?" he asked.
She blinked. "Huh?"
"Has everyone treated you like that?"
She took a sip of coffee. "Don't ask stupid questions."
"Who, then?"
She sighed. "Kaji. My friend Hikari."
"Why are they different?" he asked.
"Kaji thought of me as a child," she said, "and Hikari didn't know me very well."
"I see," he said. "So, to Mr. Kaji you were useless, and Ms. Horaki was distant enough that she didn't care."
She nodded. "That's right."
He stroked his chin, checking his notes. "What about Mr. Ikari and Ms. Katsuragi?"
She rolled her eyes. "What about them?"
"You live with Mr. Ikari, don't you?" he asked.
She shot him a frosty glare. "I live next door to him," she said.
"Oh, I see," he said. "My apologies. Ms. Katsuragi indicated you were spending most of your time with him."
She flushed. "It's not like that!" she exclaimed.
"Oh?" He smiled at her. "According to her you were quite insistent about the matter."
"She's an idiot," Asuka mumbled.
"Why do you spend so much time with him, then?" he asked.
Asuka shrugged. When the doctor didn't take the hint she grunted and said, "he took care of me."
Dr. Okada quirked an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"After Third Impact," she said. "I was even more of a mess then than I am now, and he looked out for me." She frowned. "Sort of."
"Why would he do that?" he asked.
Asuka shrugged. "How should I know? Guilt, probably."
"That's an awfully cynical way of looking at it," he said.
Asuka shrugged again. "Whatever."
"Every time I see him, he seems awfully concerned about you."
"Tch," she said. "It's like he's obsessed. Every day I was away, he sent me stupid e-mails."
"Did that make you uncomfortable?" he asked.
Asuka stared at him. "What? No. They were stupid, not lewd."
"And he did this for two years?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yeah."
"That seems like an awful lot of trouble to go to to appease simple guilt."
Asuka took a sip of her coffee and didn't reply.
"Do you enjoy spending time with him?" he asked.
"It's fine," she said.
"Did you come back to Tokyo-2 to spend time with him?"
She glared at him. "I came back to Tokyo-2 to say goodbye and slit my wrists."
He stroked his chin, unfazed by her comment. "And yet you didn't."
She faltered. "Well . . . "
"Yes?"
She flushed a bit. "He said he . . . um, well . . . he said he wanted to be my friend."
He nodded. "Did you believe him?"
She shook her head. "Of course not, it's ridiculous."
He smiled slightly. "And yet, here you are."
Asuka frowned, but didn't reply.
"Is it possible he was telling the truth?" he asked.
"He's an idiot."
"Maybe so," he said, "but is it possible?"
Asuka ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "I don't know!" she snapped. "I . . . maybe."
"I see," he said.
She ground her teeth, glaring at him. "You're annoying," she growled.
"Hmmm."

Shinji jumped when he heard pounding on his front door. He opened it, finding Asuka on the other side. "Oh, hi Asuk--" He was interrupted by a hard kick to his shin. "OW!" he yelped. "What was that for?"
"Shut up, stupid Shinji! You've pissed me off enough for one day." She stomped down the hall to her apartment, jamming the key into the lock. She opened the door, then shot him a glare and moved inside, slamming the door behind her. A moment later the door opened again. She stuck out her head and said, "you better make something really good for dinner, if you know what's good for you!" She retreated back inside, slamming the door again.
"But you just kicked me!" Shinji yelled. "What the hell is wrong with you?"
"Shut up, stupid Shinji!" she yelled, her voice carrying easily through the walls. "Just. Shut. Up!"
Shinji stared at the door for a moment, then retreated back into his apartment. He made his way to the refrigerator, gathering ingredients as he started to make dinner. "Her therapy's gonna kill me," he mumbled.

[Bagheera]

Part I of II:

June 3, 2026

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June 3, 2026

Misato slurped up some of her ramen, then gave Shinji an inquiring look. "So, Shinji," she asked, "how are you settling in at Herz?"
Shinji shrugged. "It's fine. The training in school really helped, so I don't feel too lost."
Asuka snorted, her arms folded behind her head. Misato gave her a disapproving frown, then turned back to Shinji. "And  how are things at home?" she asked slyly. "You two doing okay?"
Shinji flushed. "W-well . . . " he began.
"Stop being so nosy," Asuka grumbled. "If there were problems we'd tell you."
"Asuka . . . " Shinji said.
"Fine, fine," Misato said airily. "I'm just wondering, that's all."
"Wondering about what?" Shinji asked, suspicious.
Misato leaned forward, her eyes dancing. "When you'll settle down! Start a family! Get--"
Asuka rolled her eyes. "Oh Christ, not this again. We aren't getting married, Misato. Let it go already."
Misato pulled back, giving Asuka a hurt look. "Is it really so terrible if I want to see you two happy?"
"That's the problem," Asuka shot back. "You're dreaming about something that will never happen."

Shinji opened the door to the apartment, then preceded Asuka inside. "I think you might have hurt Misato's feelings," he said.
Asuka shrugged. "Well, too bad. I've told her before not to keep pushing like that, so she should know better."
Shinji sighed. "Asuka . . . "
"What?" She glared at him, then relented. "Fine, I'll apologize tomorrow."
He nodded. "Thank you."
Asuka made her way to the living room and sat down. She grabbed the TV remote off the floor, turning on the TV and flipping through the channels until she settled on a program about the mating habits of Hakone's birds in the post-Third Impact era.
Shinji sat beside her and watched for a while. Finally he asked, "Would it really be so terrible? Getting married,  I mean."
"Tch. Don't be stupid, Shinji. Marriage is for adults, and we're still Children." Her expression darkened with bitter humor. "Us? Married? What a fucking joke."
Shinji didn't reply. There was something on the TV about pair bonding, and it was making him nauseous. "If that's how you feel," he asked, "then what's the point? Why are we doing this?"
She shot him a sideways glance. "You're the one who wanted to be friends, remember? You're the one who wanted to take care of me, to distract yourself from your own guilt and misery. And I let you, so I can feel like my life is worth something. That's the best we can do. It always has been."
"I see," he said. "I guess that's true."
Seconds ticked by as the show droned on. "So what's your problem?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No problem. I just . . . I guess I thought we'd moved past that."
"Don't mistake affection and sympathy for a healthy relationship, Shinji. I like you, but that doesn't mean we've really fixed anything. It just means we have enough control over our problems that they're no longer killing us."
He didn't reply. The show continued, noting that while one species that would mate for life another would practice serial monogamy.
After a few minutes Asuka asked, "Are you going to run away?" Her voice was steady, but the undercurrent of tension beneath the calm was unmistakable.
He shook his head again. "No," he said. "I won't run away. Never again."
She relaxed a bit in response, then leaned against the wall.
"Even if you're wrong," he added, a corner of his mouth curling up.
Asuka tensed, opening her mouth to reply, then returned her attention to the TV. "Idiot," she mumbled.

[Bagheera]

Jeez, I posted part I over a month ago? My time is just flying by these days. Sorry for the delay, folks. Here's part II of II:

February 20, 2047

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February 20, 2047

Shinji glanced up as Asuka entered their apartment. He frowned, noting her unusually pensive demeanor. "Something wrong?" he asked.
She shook her head, distracted. "No," she said, "why would there be?"
"You just seem lost in thought," he said.
She scowled at him. "Shinji, I'm the smartest person you know. Why is it unusual that I'd be thinking about something?"
"I dunno," he said, shrugging. "It's just not your style."
She frowned, then blew out a breath and let it go. She stared at him for a moment, then asked, "do you still want to get married?"
He gave her a strange look. "Where did that come from?"
"Something Ryuko said." She absently twirled a lock of hair around her finger. "Her career survey is due this week, and I was pressing her to finish it. She thought it was pointless, since she's obviously going to be a musician of some sort, but I said she had to finish it just like everyone else. And when I said that she just laughed and said, 'since when are we just like everyone else?' I didn't have an answer for her, but it got me thinking."
"Oh?" Shinji asked.
"She's right," Asuka mumbled. "We aren't like everyone else. We never have been. But even so . . . " She shrugged. "We went to school, just like everyone else. We got jobs. We have our friends, and our family, and it's weird but it's ours. It's real. And then, with Ryuko, we made a family of our own." She met his gaze, dropping her hands to her sides. "And that's what marriage is for, right? It's a way to tell the world 'this is our family', right?
"That's true," Shinji said, nodding.
She started pacing back and forth in front of him. "I hated the idea of getting married, since it felt like a sham. Marriage was for normal people, not us. We were pilots. We're too fucked up to ever be normal.  But . . . " She stopped, staring at him. " . . . we have a daughter together. We work, and we hold each other at night when everything goes to hell, and . . . " She shook her head. "How can that be fake? How does the notion that is even make sense?"
He shrugged. "Well, it's not like I disagree."
"You're not helping, Third," she groused.
"What do you want me to say?" he asked. "You know I agree with you, so . . . "
She sighed. "Do you want to get married, or not?"
"Of course I do," he said. He took her hands in his own. "If it's what you want, nothing would make me happier."
She blushed. "So, that's it, then. We're getting married."
"I guess so."
Any further response from Shinji was cut off by the tone of a cellphone's camera taking a picture. The Children turned and spied their daughter holding the offending object, a wide grin on her face. "Misato is gonna love this," she said.
Asuka and Shinji stared at one another. "Shit," she said.
Shinji just sighed.

[Bagheera]

This one was tough to write. I might go back and add in some scenes, I don't know.

December 16 & 19, 2080

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December 16, 2080

Asuka opened her eyes, looking around her as the fog of sleep receded. She saw Misato, standing near the window. "Where's Shinji?" she asked.
Misato turned toward her, and smiled slightly. "I made him get something to eat," she said. "He'll be back soon."
Asuka nodded. "I see," she said.
"How are you holding up?" Misato asked.
Asuka shrugged.
Misato sighed. "Sorry," she said. "You should have had another twenty years, at least. You and Shinji both."
Asuka shook her head. "It's fine," she said, her voice weak. "Every day of my life has been an ordeal. It will be nice to get some rest."
Misato pursed her lips, stung by the younger woman's comment, but she held her tongue.
But Asuka turned to her, and smiled. "But you made it easier," she said. "You and stupid Shinji. I had fun with you. Things were hard, but I still had fun."
Misato returned her smile. "Thank you," she said. "That means a lot to me. I . . . " she paused, then shrugged. "Thank you."
Asuka paid her no mind. "Where's Shinji?" she asked. "I want to see him. I'm tired, and I . . . " She swallowed, then said, "I don't have much time left."
"It's fine," Misato said. "I'll find him. I'll get him for you right away."
Asuka nodded, and dozed off.

Shinji entered the hospital room, and found his wife lying in the bed before him. She looked gaunt and pale, a mere shadow of the woman who'd shared his life for all these years. She turned her head, her eyes meeting his. "Hey, stupid Shinji," she said. Her voice was weak, but filled with good humor. "How you doin'?"
She held up a hand, and he took it between his own. "I'm alright," he said. An obvious lie. "Ryuko's taking care of me."
"Good," she said, nodding. "That's good."
"Are you in any pain?" he asked. "The doctors authorized morphine--"
She shook her head. "No," she said. "I want my head clear for now. I don't mind a little pain."
He squeezed his eyes shut, nodding.
"Stupid Shinji," she whispered. "Why are you so upset? I had a good life."
His shoulders trembled, and he lowered his head to their clasped hands. "I know," he said. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!"
"Idiot," she said, fondness in her voice. "You took care of me, just like you said you would. You gave me a wonderful daughter, and we both accomplished many things. You should be happy, not sad."
He nodded, tears streaming down his face. "I know," he said. "You're right. I should be grateful." His breath caught on a sob. "But I'm selfish," he said. "I want more. I want to be with you forever!" He lowered his head to her breast, his shoulders heaving.
"Stupid Shinji," she said. She idly stroked his hair, holding him close, comforting him as best she could. "My Shinji," she whispered. He sobbed at that, clutching her tightly while she continued to hold him. Soon, though, her strength ran out. Her fingers stilled their motion, and her breath slowed, then stopped. Shinji stayed with her for a long time after that, refusing to let her go.

Ryuko exited the room, continuing on down the hallway. As soon as the door closed, however, she put a hand on the wall, leaning on it for support.
"She's gone, then?" Kyoko asked.
Ryuko nodded.
"I see," Kyoko said.
Ryuko took a moment, composing herself. Then she said, "He won't leave her. She's gone, but he . . . he won't leave her."
Kyoko nodded. "Of course he won't," she said. "There's no way he could."
"I know, grandmother, but even so . . . " Ryuko said.
Kyoko waved her off. "It doesn't matter," she said. "We have other things to worry about."
Ryuko swallowed thickly. "I'll . . . I'll take care of the arrangements," she said. "It's my responsibility, as her daughter, so--"
"Don't be ridiculous," Kyoko said. Ryuko gave her a puzzled look, and Kyoko smiled at her. "Don't forget, I was her mother, and Katsuragi loved her as well. We'll do it together."
Ryuko nodded in gratitude. "Thank you, grandmother," she said.

December 19, 2080

Ryuko frowned, staring at her father. "C'mon, dad," she said. "I'm worried about you. You're barely eating, and--"
"Sorry," he said, smiling at her. He rocked back and forth in his chair. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you. I'm okay, I promise."
She stared at her hands. "You say that, and yet . . . "
Shinji paid her no mind. "Amiko has a recital next weekend, doesn't she?"
She sighed, allowing him the distraction. "Yes," she said. "She's playing the piano."
"Good," he said. "That's good. I'm looking forward to it! I'm sure Asuka will . . . " He trailed off. His chair stopped its motion, and his eyes lost focus. He sank back in the chair as grief overtook him.
Ryuko watched him carefully. "Dad?" she asked.
Shinji didn't reply, only staring off into the distance.
Ryuko moved to his side, trying to comfort him. "Dad, it's okay. I'm here for you. You're . . . you're not alone, you know?"
Shinji stared at her, disconsolate. "But who will take care of her?" he asked. "She's . . . no one's looking after her now, and she . . . and . . . "
She wrapped her arms around him. "She's fine, dad," she said. "Mom's strong, okay? We took good care of her, so she can handle anything now. She'll be fine."
He clutched at her, burying his head in her breast. "Why did she have to leave?" he asked, sobbing. "There was so much left to do, so why did she have to leave?"
 "It was her time, dad," she said, holding him tightly. "It was just her time to move on. And we . . . we have to move on without her."
Shinji said nothing to that, unable to imagine a world without his Asuka.

Ryuko started awake, then looked around her in confusion. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was just yet. She got up, leaving the couch and her blanket behind her, and made her way to her father's room. She turned on the light, and her breath caught in her throat. Her father was still, and a young boy and girl stood next to him, he on one side, she on the other. She recognized them instantly, long conversations with her parents springing instantly to mind.
"Wait!" she said. The boy smiled and cocked his head, oblivious to her distress. She turned to the girl. "My mother," she began. "What about my mother?"
The girl paused for a moment, then nodded. Ryuko blinked, and they were gone.

[Bagheera]

And here we have part two. This was originally part of the previous chapter, but I split it off since it kinda became its own thing.

December 20, 2080

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December 20, 2080

Misato was in the rose garden when she arrived. She reached for a rose, preparing to cut it, then froze when she sensed the presence of someone else. She looked up. One look at Ryuko's face told her all she needed to know.
"He's gone," Ryuko said.
Misato stared at her hands, her eyes moistening despite herself. "Hmph," she muttered. "Just three days. I thought he'd last longer than that." Ryuko flinched, and Misato grimaced. "Sorry," she said.
Ryuko let it go. "Where's grandmother?" she asked.
Misato jerked her head in the direction of the house. "Out back, near the fish pond. She's been there since . . . well, you know."
"Yeah." Ryuko made her way around the house, spotting Kyoko immediately as she arrived at the space beyond. The older woman was feeding seed to a flock of songbirds, oblivious to her surroundings. "Grandmother?" Ryuko asked.
Kyoko glanced at the woman, then turned back to the birds before her. "You're turning into a bad omen," she said.
Ryuko flinched. "Sorry, grandmother," she said.
Kyoko waved her off. "He's gone, then?"
Ryuko nodded. "Yes."
"They always were too dependent on one another," Kyoko said.
"The doctors said it was heart failure. I guess--"
"Of course it was," Kyoko said, interrupting. "He couldn't bear to live without her, so what else could it be?"
Ryuko frowned, but let it go. She gave her grandmother an appraising look. "You really did care for him, didn't you?"
Kyoko just stared at her. "I knew him for more than fifty years," she said. "Of course I cared for him. He was a friend to me, and he always did right by Asuka. I'll miss him, in what few days I have left."
Several moments passed in tense silence before Misato appeared at the rear entry to the house. "Hey you two," she said, "stop moping and come inside. I have something to show you."
Kyoko and her granddaughter exchanged a puzzled look, then shrugged and did as Misato asked.

Kyoko sat in her chair, waiting patiently while Misato served her guests tea. She rubbed her hands, trying to massage away the arthritis that plagued them. Not for the first time she shot Misato a jealous look; the woman was seven years her senior, but looked and acted far younger. "Alright, Katsuragi," she said, "what's this about?"
Misato grinned at her. "I'm glad you asked!" she said. She made her way to a bookcase behind the couch and retrieved a large book. She placed it on the coffee table before Ryuko and indicated she should open it.  Ryuko exchanged a glance with her grandmother, who just shrugged. Ryuko bit her lip, then opened the book.
It was a photo album. Page after page of pictures of Shinji and Asuka, beginning when the couple were in their teens. Ryuko flipped through several pages, then looked at Misato curiously. "You've had this all this time?" she asked.
Misato nodded. "It was just for them, you see," she said. "I wanted them to know the same thing I'm going to tell you now: they really did have a good life together. We always say those sorts of things, because they're expected, right? But even so, it's true. This here is proof."
Most of the photos were candid shots, at least in the beginning, seemingly taken without the couple's knowledge. Ryuko turned a page, and closed her eyes in dismay. "Misato, they're naked in this one."
"Tch," Kyoko muttered. "You always were a pervert, Katsuragi."
Misato chuckled. "Hey, it's not like you can see anything. Besides, they're cute."
"That's not the point!" Ryuko exclaimed.
Misato waved her off. "I know, I know. They got mad at me after that one, too, but they settled down when I explained the purpose of the book. They actually worked with me after that."
Ryuko frowned, unconvinced, but turned back to the book. Most of the pictures were somber, studies in human beings taking care of one another as best they could. Ryuko noticed that her mother was rarely smiling in any of them; most of the time her expression was haunted, or simply tired. There were exceptions, though; playing frisbee in Okinawa, a haughty smirk while dining out in Tokyo-2, a grin of triumph as she ground a knuckle into Shinji's head. Ryuko found a smile creeping onto her face despite her mood.
Ryuko came across a particular picture and smiled. It showed her and her parents, when she was about 13 years old. "I remember this," she said. "I had just played in middle school regionals for the violin. I remember mother said I did a good job." She frowned. "She doesn't look very sincere here, though. She looks bored."
Kyoko shrugged. "Well, of course," she said. "All you did was play a piece written by someone else. You did it your own way, which gave us a taste of what was to come, but that performance wasn't particularly noteworthy in and of itself."
Ryuko sighed. "Thanks, grandmother."
"It's hardly an insult," Kyoko said, staring at her. "It's just what parents do: we congratulate our children when they do something well, even if it's of no consequence to anyone else. That praise is meant as support, not a true recognition of achievement."
"I know, I know," Ryuko said patiently. "I have children and grandchildren of my own, I know how it works." She flipped to another photo, and chuckled. "Hey, look at this one. This is from when mom got an award for her work in medicine."
Kyoko made a face. "Oh, gods, she hated that. She thought it was so ridiculous."
"I know, right?" Ryuko said. "She kept saying 'But I'm not even a doctor! What the hell's wrong with them?' She was funny when she was indignant like that."
"It was all politics," Kyoko said, by way of agreement. "And it's unfortunate, because her work really was important. Just . . . not in the way they made it out to be."
Ryuko turned a page, and stopped. "It's dad," she said.
"Eh?" Kyoko asked.
"At the Beijing Restoration Ceremony. He looks . . . confused, actually," Ryuko said.
Misato grinned at her. "He didn't have a clue what was going on there. I kinda sprang it on him."
"Of course you did," Ryuko said, rolling her eyes.
Misato shrugged. "He would have weaseled out of it otherwise." Her expression turned fierce. "And that would have been a damn shame, because he deserved recognition for his hard work. It's because of him that China's still a country these days, and many tens of thousands of people have him to thank for both their living conditions and their livelihood."
"Wow," Ryuko said, "Just him?"
Misato nodded. "Yup. Beijing had an S2 engine, but it's because of him that that potential was extended to the many cities beyond. He tapped that potential and extended it to the whole of the country, and he basically did it single-handedly. it was a really big deal at the time, but he never really acknowledged it."
"Jeez," Ryuko said. "It's kind of depressing that they both accomplished so much and yet only defined their success by their treatment of one another. They both deserved better than that, I think."
"It couldn't be helped," Misato said. "They both suffered so much as kids that I don't think they knew any other way to live." She sobered a bit. "I guess that was my fault," she said, "but I never found a way to teach them otherwise. They just . . . " she shook her head. "They did the best they could, I guess, even if it hurt them."
Ryuko flipped to another page. "Heh," she said. "My finest moment."
"Eh?" Misato asked. Kyoko showed her the photo in question, taken shortly after Ryuko received the Tanabe Hisao prize for her musical accomplishments. Far from looking bored, in this picture Asuka had a maniacal grin on her face, holding her daughter in a headlock while she flashed the camera a V sign with her other hand. Shinji watched them both from off to the side, arms crossed, a bemused expression on his face.
"That's it," Kyoko said. She turned to Ryuko. "That's the difference between obligatory praise and true accomplishment. The first was obligation; when a child does something properly we're expected to encourage them, even though they haven't really accomplished a damn thing. But this," she said, pointing to the photo, "this was true pride. I've never seen her happier than she was on that day. Not once."
Ryuko flushed. "Grandmother, you're embarrassing me," she said.
"She was so . . . satisfied," Kyoko said, ignoring her granddaughter. "As though she knew that, by bringing you into the world, she had contributed to Japanese society in a way no one else could."
"She did that with her own work, though," Ryuko said. "Think of all the people who are alive today because of her . . . "
Kyoko waved a hand. "Pah," she said. "That was just building on the work of others. Mine, Yui Ikari's, Kozo Fuyutsuki's . . . there was nothing original about it, nothing unique. But the way she raised you, the way she encouraged you to defy convention and find your own path . . . nobody knew what to make of that. It's not something we Japanese do. But she didn't care, and here you are. She was so proud of you for that."
Ryuko frowned. "So I had to win an award for my mother's life to have any meaning?" she asked.
Kyoko waved her off. "Oh, she already knew, long before that," she said. "But that award was proof that everyone else did, too. It was confirmation." She gave Ryuko a thoughtful look. "Something changed in her that day. It was as though her burden was lessened, and she could finally relax in a way she couldn't before. It's hard to explain, really, but all I know for sure is that that was a very good day for her."
"I'm glad," Ryuko said. She continued to flip through the album, noting that the most recent photos were barely a week old. "All the way up to the end," she mused. She turned to Misato. "Thank you for this," she said. "I don't . . . it's easy to forget everything that happened, all the good times that they shared together. I'm glad you took care of them like this."
Misato smiled sadly. "It was the least I could do," she said. "After all, I was the source of their pain to start with."
Ryuko cringed. "Misato . . . " she began.
Misato silenced her with a wave of her hand. "Enough of that," she said. "Let's just remember our family for now, and think happy thoughts. Time enough for real life later on, eh?"
Ryuko nodded, letting Misato have her way. After all, it was as she said -- there would be time enough for real life later.

[Bagheera]

This side story was written alongside the later part of the main story above, but has been copied to this forum as a separate group of posts, as linked in the table of contents in the OP.


I was gonna do a separate story for this, but I had an idea for doing it in my usual style and decided to run with it. Here's the first chapter:

June 24, 2032

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June 24, 2032

Shinji looked toward oncoming traffic, then hit the gas pedal and steered Misato's car outside of the hospital parking lot. He merged into the flow of traffic as he headed home.
Asuka took a look at his profile. He was wearing sunglasses, and his hair was long and ragged. His hands gripped the steering wheel tightly. She shifted gingerly, mindful of her tender belly. "Where is she?" she asked.
"Misato's looking after her," he said. "Misato and Kaji."
"I see," she said. "Like we agreed, then."
He nodded. "Yes."
Several moments went by. "Have you seen her?" she asked.
He glanced her way, then back at the road. His grip on the steering wheel tightened. "No," he said.
She frowned. "Shinji, it's not her fault," she said.
"I know that!" he snapped. He took a deep breath, and his voice softened. "Of course I know that. But  I can't help it. She . . . " He trailed off, unsure how to continue.
"I know," Asuka said. She sighed. "Misato's right," she said. "We really are too attached to one another."
He glanced at her. "Is that such a bad thing?" he asked.
She shrugged. "It is when we hurt ourselves because of it."
He hunched down in his seat. "Well, what does she expect?" he asked. "I mean, after Third Impact . . . "
Asuka nodded. "Yeah," she said. "Yeah. We were all alone, and we hurt so much . . . " She frowned, thinking. "I never thought I'd grow to like you back then," she said. "I hated you so much . . . how do you hate someone when you need them so desperately?"
"How should I know?" he asked. He shifted in his seat. "I was always afraid of you, afraid and worried. I didn't know how to be anything else."
"And yet, here we are." Her mouth quirked in a smile. "Is this what love is?" she mused. "Need, and affection?"
He frowned. "That's oversimplifying things," he said. "There's worry, too. And desire."
She raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Stop it," he said, scowling at her. "You know what I mean. It's concern, and wanting to be close."
Several moments passed in silence. "Then," she began, "what about Ryuko?"
Shinji sucked in a breath.
She waited a beat. "Well?" she asked.
He scowled at her. "Of course I love her," he said. "She's our daughter."
"Good," she said. She nodded nervously. "Good. Then you'll help me out, right? When I see her, I mean. You'll . . . " she trailed off.
Shinji swallowed. He looked at her, then nodded. "Of course I will," he said.
"Alright then," she said. She settled back into the seat, and her hand came to rest over her mauled stomach. She closed her eyes, and eventually her breathing evened out as she fell asleep.
Shinji kept his eyes facing forward, resolute, as he continued onward toward the residence of Misato Katsuragi.

These kids just don't know how to do anything the easy way . . .

[Bagheera]

Hmmm, nary a peep on the previous chapter. Ah well, so it goes. Have another:

March 27, 2027

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March 27, 2027

"Damn that Heishiro," Asuka complained. "He's so annoying!"
Kyoko nodded. "Yes, well, teenaged boys are like that."
"He's not even a teenager yet," Asuka noted. "And why should I have to babysit him, anyway?"
Kyoko shrugged. "You're the one who agreed to help them out," she noted. "Against my objections, I might add."
"Tch," Asuka said. "Misato's family to me, even if she isn't to you."
"Even so," Kyoko said, "this is your own doing."
Asuka glowered at her, then sighed and let it go.
Kyoko glanced at her daughter sidelong. "That aside," she said, "this is good practice for you."
Asuka blinked. "Eh?"
"For when you have children of your own, I mean," Kyoko clarified.
Asuka made a sour face. "I don't want children. Like, ever."
Kyoko pulled back at that. "Never?" she asked.
"Nope," Asuka said, shaking her head. "Can't stand the things."
Kyoko smirked at her. "Oh, c'mon. They're not so bad."
Asuka glared at her mother. "Even the babies?" she asked.
"Even the babies," Kyoko said, nodding.
Asuka shrugged. "I don't care," she said. "I want nothing to do with them."
"That's a shame," Kyoko said. She frowned. "Does Shinji feel the same way?"
Asuka stared at her curiously. "Who cares? If I don't want them we aren't gonna have them, simple as that."
"Asuka . . . " Kyoko began. She sighed. "It's not that simple," she said. "If you two want different things . . . " she began.
Asuka stared at her curiously. "What are you getting at?" she asked.
Kyoko sighed. "If he wants children, and  you don't, he'll come to resent  you if you stand firm. And, by the same token, if he wants them and you give in you'll hate him for forcing your hand."
Asuka blinked. "I . . . it's not like that. We want . . . we . . . "
"You need to be in agreement on this matter," Kyoko said. "it's important. It's one of the most important issues a couple will ever face."
Asuka made a face. "It's not like that!" she said. "he . . . we . . . "
"You what?" Kyoko asked.
Asuka frowned. "Look, it doesn't matter. After Third Impact, we . . . "
"Asuka," Kyoko said. "Listen carefully, because this is important. The fact he was there for you back then? That makes him a good person." She held up a hand. "Yes, I realize this is confusing coming from me, but it's true. He looked out for you, and that's a virtue. But you must realize that that doesn't mean he's a good partner for you. If he doesn't want what you want you'll only wind up destroying one another."
Asuka chewed her lip, but said nothing.
"You need to talk to him about this," Kyoko said.
Asuka fidgeted. "He doesn't care about kids," she said.
"Are you sure?" Kyoko asked. "Have you asked him?"
Asuka fidgeted some more. "Well . . . " she began.
"You can't assume," Kyoko said. "You need to ask him directly."
Asuka ran a hand through her hair in frustration. "Fine," she said. "Fine! I get it! Stop lecturing me!"
"So you'll talk to him?" Kyoko asked.
Asuka nodded.
"And soon," Kyoko went on.
Asuka's brows knit. "I know mother. Jeez, let it go, will you?"
"Sorry," Kyoko said, holding up a hand. "Sorry. It's just, it's important, you know?"
Asuka huffed. "Parents are annoying," she said.
Kyoko smirked. "It's only because we're looking out for you, you know," she said.
Asuka glared at her and growled, and Kyoko couldn't help but laugh.

More to come soon!

[Bagheera]

Yay, momentum!

November 21, 2031 - pt 1

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November 21, 2031 - pt 1

Misato closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She closed her eyes and breathed a heavy sigh.
"Is something wrong?" Kaji asked. He sat at the kitchen table, his laptop before him and various charts and graphs strewn across the surface.
Misato opened her eyes. "No," she said, shaking her head. "It's just . . . " She looked at him directly. "Asuka is pregnant," she said.
Kaji's jaw dropped open in surprise, but he recovered quickly. "Er, how?"
Misato just stared at him.
Kaji shook his head. "No, I mean, she's on birth control, isn't she? To manage her periods?"
"I dunno," Misato said, shrugging. "Sometimes it just doesn't work, no matter how careful you are. But regardless, she's pregnant."
"Wow." Kaji dropped his hands to his lap, and laughed ruefully. "That's rather painfully ironic, given our circumstances."
"Yeah," Misato agreed. A wistful look played across her features, but then she smiled and crossed the room to sit beside him. "I actually wanted to talk to you about that."
"Oh?" he asked.
She nodded. "Yeah. See, the thing is, Asuka's not exactly . . . fit to be a parent right now. Maybe not ever. She's made a lot of progress, but even so she still has nightmares, and she's still temperamental. With a child . . . " She shook her head. "I just can't trust her with that responsibility. And she doesn't trust herself, either; she doesn't want children to begin with, but with everything else on top of it . . . there's no way she can do it. Her job and her mom and Shinji are all she can manage, and even that's pushing it."
Kaji nodded thoughtfully. "I don't disagree," he said. "So what will she do? Get rid of it?"
Misato bit her lip, then shook her head. "I don't think so," she said. "She hasn't spelled it out or anything, but I don't think that's an option for her."
Kaji stroked his chin. "Adoption, then?"
Misato shook her head again. "I don't think she could handle that, either. To give up her child, never able to see it again . . . it would wreck her. She'd feel like she'd failed at yet another task, and there's no way she can handle that."
Kaji frowned. "So what's left?"
Misato licked her lips. "Well, that's where we come in. I was thinking, maybe we could . . . " She trailed off, leaving the thought hanging.
"Us?" Kaji asked, surprised.
Misato nodded eagerly. "It would be perfect!" she said. "We've been trying to have children for years, and they live right down the hall! They could see the child whenever they want, and help raise it when they feel up to it . . . it's the perfect solution!"
"Assuming they agree," he said. He sounded skeptical.
She grabbed his arm. "They will!" she said. "I'm sure they will."
"Hmmm."
Several moments passed in silence as Kaji digested Misato's words. Eventually she squeezed his arm and asked, "Well?"
Kaji looked at her and sighed. "Well, it's not like I can say no to you when you're this excited about it. And I can work from home anyway these days, so I'll certainly have the time. So if they're okay with it, then sure, why not?"
"Yay!" Misato clapped her hands.
"Heishiro's handling the dirty diapers, though," he said, smirking.
She scowled at him. "Kaji!"
He shrugged. "What? It'll be good practice for him."
She shook her head. "You're incorrigible."

"I said no, mother!" Asuka said, fuming. "That is absolutely not an option, and I don't want to hear another word about it!"
Kyoko sighed, massaging her temples. When she spoke her voice was strained. "Will you at least explain why you feel that way?" she asked.
Asuka glared at her, then closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and willed herself to relax. After a moment she opened her eyes and said, "Everyone I've ever depended on has abandoned me. Everyone! You, father, Misato, Kaji, Nerv . . . " She glanced at Shinji. "Well, not him, he just didn't do anything useful when I needed it--"
"Hey!" he exclaimed.
She winced. "Sorry, I meant back then." She turned back to her mother. "Anyway, they all threw me away like garbage, like I was worthless. I won't do that to another human being. Not now, not ever. Never!"
The venom in her voice was undeniable, and Kyoko was forced to relent. "Alright," she said, holding up her hands. "Fine, you win. But you realize that leaves us in a predicament, right? We need to--" She was interrupted by a knock at the door. She looked at it in exasperation as Shinji crossed the room to open it. When he did, they saw Misato and Kaji standing on the other side.
"Hiya kids!" Misato chirped.
"Hey Misato," Shinji said, smiling at her. "We were just discussing . . . " he waved his hands uselessly. "Current events, I guess. Come on in."
Misato nodded at him, as she and Kaji entered the apartment. "What a coincidence!" she said. "Kaji and I came here to talk to you about exactly that!"
Shinji's eyes widened at her tone. "Uh-oh."
Misato flashed them all a wide, toothy grin. "Don't worry, everything's going to be fine. I have an idea!"
Shinji and Asuka groaned, while Kyoko buried her head in her hands. "God help us all," she mumbled.
Misato just giggled. "Pretend you have faith in me!" she said. "Here's what I'm thinking . . . "

[Bagheera]

Hmmm. Not the chapter I expected to write, but it's the one that called out to me at the time. Back on track tomorrow (er, later today), I guess.

June 25, 2032 - pt 1

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June 25, 2032 - pt 1

Asuka entered the living room, drawing her robe around her. Moonlight trickled into the room, illuminating its sole occupant standing a few feet from the window. "What are you doing?" she asked, yawning. "Why aren't you in bed with me?"
Shinji jumped at the sound of her voice. "S-sorry," he said, looking at her. He turned away from her, looking at the floor. "Sorry," he repeated.
Asuka frowned. "What's wrong with you?" she asked. "You haven't been like this in years."
He shrugged.
Asuka crossed the room to stand beside him. She crossed her arms and glared at him. "Well?" she asked.
He winced, then relented. "You almost died, Asuka!"
She sighed. "Yes, I'm aware. I was there, remember? But I'm fine now."
"You don't understand," he said.
Her brows knit. "And just what exactly don't I understand?"
"You were screaming!" he yelled. "There was blood everywhere, and you were screaming, and nobody would tell me what was going on, and, and . . . " He broke off, on the verge of hysteria.
She grabbed his shoulders, giving him a shake. "Hey!" she said. "Calm down, will you? I'm right here! You don't have to worry about anything anymore, alright?" She drew him close, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Just relax, will you? I'm fine, I'm not going anywhere."
He buried his face in her neck as his arms closed around her. "I . . . didn't handle it well," he said. "I yelled at Misato, and the doctors, and . . . everyone, I guess. I felt like I lost my mind."
"Well, that's only natural," she said. She stroked the back of his head, holding him close. "I'd be the same way, probably worse."
"Yeah," he said, laughing. "You'd be screaming at everyone. But I'm supposed to be the nice one! I'm not supposed to be . . . to be going crazy like that."
"Tch," she said. "When someone you love is in danger you panic, it's beyond your control. Anyone would be like that."
"Yeah," he said. "I guess you're right. But . . . "
She pulled at him. "Come on," she said. "Come to bed. We have to see Ryuko tomorrow, and I don't want to be sleepy when we do."
He fidgeted. "I'm so nervous about that," he said. "What do I--"
"You can't possibly be more nervous than I am," she said, exasperated. "That's why I need you with me now. So stop moping and work with me here."
Shinji closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Right!"
With that she led him back into the bedroom, to sleep as best they could.

[Bagheera]

This is getting to be a habit . . .

March 30, 2027

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March 30, 2027

"Shinji?" Asuka asked. She was at the kitchen table, her hands splayed out across it.
"What is it?" he asked, distracted. He was making dinner, and was focused on the food before him.
"Come here, will you?" she asked. "There's something I want to ask you."
He frowned. "Alright, give me a sec," he said. He finished putting the rice in the cooker, then stirred the noodles before he did as she asked. "What's on your mind?" he asked, sitting before her.
"I had a conversation with my mother a few days ago," she said. She blushed. "It was . . . " she coughed. "Well, it was about children," She said. "She suggested I make sure we're on the same page about the subject, so . . . " She shrugged, trailing off.
Shinji bit his lip. "Oh," he said. "Well . . . "
Asuka stared at him nervously. "You know I don't want them, right? I mean, I hate children, and I . . . they . . . "
Shinji nodded. "I know."
She frowned. "But what do you think?"
He ran a hand through his hair, then sighed. "I don't know, Asuka. Part of me wants to be a good father, to correct the mistakes my father made, and yet . . . "
She leaned forward. "And yet?" she asked.
He shrugged. "Between you, and your mother, and my work, I just don't know if I could handle it. I don't even know if I'd want to. It's just . . . overwhelming, I guess? There's too much going on, I can't even think about it."
She bit her lip. "But does that mean you want it? I mean--"
"I don't know!" he said, exasperated. "If it happened, maybe I'd be okay with it, but apart from that I don't even know."
She frowned. "I don't know how I'm supposed to interpret that."
He spread his hands. "Why are you so concerned about it?"
"Idiot!" she said. "It's because I care about your opinion!"
He stared at her, startled, then smiled. "Of course you do," he said. "As expected. It's fine, Asuka. If you don't want children, that's fine with me. I'm satisfied."
"Really?" she asked.
He nodded. "Yes. I really am."
"But--" she began.
He shook his head. "No buts," he said. "I'm happy with what I have. If I get more I'll deal with it, but apart from that what I have is good."
She breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay," she said. "I'm glad."
He smiled at her. "As if I could ever go against you," he said.
She frowned, and he laughed, then grabbed her hand. "Idiot," he said.

 . . . as habits go, I'll take it.

[Bagheera]

And the habit continues . . .

November 21, 2031 - pt 2

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November 21, 2031 - pt 2

Shinji looked up at the sound of Asuka's retching. "That's the third time this week," he observed.
"Gah," she said. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't even feel sick, just . . . " She flushed the toilet, then exited  the bathroom.
Shinji frowned. "You should see a doctor," he said.
She scoffed at him. "Why?" she asked. "I don't need--"
Shinji just folded his arms,  staring at her.
"Look," she began, "It's fine, I--"
Shinji said nothing, continuing to stare at her.
"I don't even see why you're making a big deal of this, it's just --"
Shinji's stare intensified.
Asuka gave up. "Fine!" she exclaimed. "I'll see the damn doctor! Quit badgering me about it!"
Shinji rolled his eyes and sighed, then turned back to making lunch bentos for the both of them.

"You're pregnant," the doctor said.
Asuka stared at her, stunned. "That's impossible," she said.
The doctor quirked an eyebrow. "Your body seems to disagree," she said mildly.
"You don't understand," Asuka began. "I'm on birth control, for my periods. I can't even get pregnant."
The doctor shrugged. "I can show you an ultrasound, if you like."
Asuka shook her head. "It's impossible," she said.
The doctor sighed. "Fine," she said. "Let's find out, shall we?"

The doctor grinned. "There it is," she said, indicating the ultrasound. "Everything looks normal."
Asuka's eyes widened. "Impossible," she said.
"Nine weeks along, I'd say," the doctor went on. "Congratulations!"
Asuka closed her eyes. "Shit." she said. "Shit shit SHIT!"
"Is there a problem?" the doctor asked, taken aback.
Asuka glared at her. "Of course there's a problem!" she exclaimed. "I can't even manage my own life, let alone a child's." She slammed a fist into the table. "God damn it!"
The doctor smiled at her. "I'm sure you'll manage," she said. "Lots of women feel overwhelmed at this stage, but most--"
"Most women haven't had their minds raped by Angels!" Asuka snapped. "Most women haven't died. Most women . . . " she trailed off, incoherent with helplessness and rage.
The doctor grabbed her by the shoulders. "Hey!" she said. She gave the woman a shake. "Hey!" Asuka faltered, then met her gaze. "Take it easy," she said. "You are not alone, remember? You have friends, family! They'll help you through this."
Asuka scoffed at her. "Like they know anything about raising a child," she said.
The doctor smiled mildly. "Nobody's born with that knowledge, Ms. Soryu. It's a process, you know? As long as you have people willing to help you out you should do fine."
Asuka glared at her. "You don't  understand," she said. "You don't understand anything at all."

Edit: Gah, that was terrible. I gotta remember to run things past beta readers before posting them. This version's a bit better.

[Bagheera]

Asuka shares the news with Shinji:

November 21, 2031 - pt 3

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November 21, 2031 - pt 3

Shinji was playing the cello when Asuka got home. She took a seat at the kitchen table, a morose expression on her face.
"How did it go?" Shinji asked.
She looked at him. "I'm pregnant," she said.
He smiled sadly. "I wondered," he said.
"What?" she asked, irate. "Why didn't you say anything?"
He gave her a bland look. "You can't be serious."
She flushed a bit, then coughed. "Well, yes, I guess I can see your point."
He shrugged. "But anyway, you were sick three mornings in a row. What else could it be?"
She bit her lip, thinking, then nodded. "Yeah, I guess so."
"Does Misato know?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I wanted to talk to you about it first," she said. "I'll give her a call in a bit."
"Okay." Shinji's fingers tapped against the neck of the cello. "What do you want to do?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I don't know," she said. "I don't think I can bring myself to get rid of it. It just seems wrong somehow." She rubbed her eyes with the heels of her hands. "But I can't . . . I mean, there's just no way . . . " she trailed off, gesturing helplessly. "I don't know."
He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but faltered midway through. "Well, whatever you decide, you won't be alone."
She smiled back at him. "Thanks."
"And I don't just mean me," he went on. "Misato will help too, I'm sure of it. And Kaji, and your mother, and Misato's father, and Hikari and Touji . . . " His eyes widened. "That's right!" he said. "They have their own kids now, so they know all about being parents! I'm sure they'll be a great help."
"They won't need to help if we don't keep it," she observed.
"But . . . " he began, frowning. "But that would mean we'd never see it again. I don't like that idea."
She rolled her eyes. "Then what do you suggest we do?" she asked.
"I don't know," he mumbled. "But not that."
She sighed. "I should call Misato." She frowned. "My mother too, I guess. And will you stop abusing your poor cello? You're gonna break it if you keep gripping it like that."
Shinji winced, then released the cello and let it lay on his shoulder. He stared at the floor for a time, lost in thought, then began packing up the cello as Asuka made her calls.

Next up: Introductions!