April 20, 2022

Shinji was just getting out of his evening class when his phone rang. He dug it out of his pocket and checked the caller. He touched the icon to reply. "Hi Misato," he said. "What's up?"
"Hiya Shinji," she said. Her voice was pleasant but somewhat subdued. "I have something I need to talk to you about," she went on.
Shinji frowned. "Like what?" he asked.
She cleared her throat. "Have you been following the news about Professor Fuyutsuki?"
"Yes," Shinji said, stopping as he reached the waiting area for his train. "Ever since you told me he returned."
"Right. Well, the trial is over," Misato went on. "He's been ordered placed on indefinite house arrest. It's a pretty mild sentence, all things considered, but he was completely forthcoming in his testimony, so the court was lenient."
"Okay." Shinji didn't know where this was going.
"Most of it wouldn't be of much interest to you," she said, "but . . . well . . . "
Shinji frowned again. "What is it?"
"He wants to talk to you directly, Shinji."
Shinji blinked, startled. "Me? But why?" he asked. "I mean, what could he possibly want to talk to me about?"
Misato hesitated. "All the things your father should have told you, but didn't. About your mother, the Evangelions, the Angels, and . . . Rei."
Shinji was silent for close to a minute. His train arrived, but he didn't get on board.
"Shinji?" Misato asked.
Shinji didn't answer.
"Shinji?" she said. She sounded worried now. "Are you still there?"
"I'm here," he said.
"Is it okay? Do you want to meet with him? You don't have to. I'll tell him no if you--"
"It's fine," Shinji said.
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yes. I'll meet with him. It's fine."
"Okay," she said. "If you're sure. I'll make the arrangements. Is Saturday alright?"
"That's fine," he said.
"Alright. I'll drive you out there," she said. "Asuka can come too, if she likes, but I think he wants to meet with you alone."
"Alright," Shinji said. "I'll tell her."
"Okay," she said. "Take care, Shinji."
"I will." He hung up and sat down on the bench, waiting for the next train.

August 21, 2021

Asuka exited the bathroom, heading toward the bed to flop down next to Shinji. "I'm tired," she mumbled.
Shinji nodded. "Yeah," he agreed. "Me too."
"I guess the festival was good and all," she went on, "but it took a lot out of me."
"Yeah," he said again.
Shinji had almost fallen asleep when she spoke again. "Shinji?" she asked.
"Hmmm?" he asked sleepily.
Asuka bit her lip. "Wanna go to the onsen?"
He turned his head, looking at her in confusion. "Huh?" he asked.
"The onsen," she mumbled. "Do you want to go?"
He paused a moment. "Really?" he asked.
She nodded.
"Um," he hedged. "That is, I, um . . . "
She narrowed her eyes. "If you don't want to--"
"It's not that!" he said, interrupting her. "I'm just surprised, that's all." He gave her an earnest smile. "I . .  . I'd like to go," he said. "Really."
"Hmph." She sat up, her brows knit. She stared at him for a moment, then relented. "Fine, then. Let's go." She got up, and began gathering bathing supplies. He followed her lead, before they exited the room and headed down to the hotel lobby.

Asuka frowned as she looked at the entrance to the onsen. "What the hell's the point of having mixed bathing if the washrooms are still separate? This sucks!"
"They do have family and private rooms," Shinji noted.
"That's just like taking a bath at home," Asuka muttered.
Shinji shook his head. "I don't think so," he said. "I read about them in the guidebook a few days ago. It said they're pretty big, and that they're outdoors, just like the main pools."
"Oh, please. They're probably kiddie pools or something," Asuka groused, unconvinced.
Shinji frowned, then smiled reassuringly. "Let's at least take a look," he said. "It can't hurt, right?"
Asuka shrugged, then reluctantly let him lead the way.

Asuka looked at the pool, a satisfied smile on her face. "Not bad, Third Child." She said. She nodded. "Yeah, this should work out fine."
Shinji sighed in relief. "Thank goodness," he said. "I wasn't sure you'd like it."
"Heh." She turned, heading back in to the washroom. "Let's get started then, eh?"
Shinji nodded, following her.
As she got undressed, Asuka said, "Just so we're clear, I'm really trusting you here. You better not do anything perverted!"
Shinji gave her a pained look. "Aren't I supposed to do perverted things to you? To want to, at least? I mean . . . "
She scowled at him. "Not right now! And not here!"
Shinji sighed. "Well, it's a moot point," he said primly, turning on the water. "Making you mad is the last thing in the world I want, so I'd never do something like that if you didn't want me to."
Asuka relaxed a bit, mollified. "Alright then," she breathed. "Then you can, y'know, wash my back and stuff." She sat on the bench, then handed him her body wash. "Here."
Shinji took the bottle and sat behind her, then grabbed the shower head and ran warm water down her back. He ran his hand over her back, taking note of the many tiny scars marring her otherwise beautiful skin. "I think you make too much of these," he murmured. "I don't think they look bad at all. I know you don't believe that, but it's true. That's what I think, anyway."
She huffed. "Yeah, well, you're an idiot, so your opinion doesn't count."
Shinji sighed, giving her a pained look. She didn't notice, of course, facing the other way as she was. He put the shower head down, then opened the body wash and squirted some into his hand. He rubbed his hands together, inhaling the sweet strawberry scent, then began to gently scrub her back.
Asuka mewled in contentment. "That feels nice," she murmured.
"Heh. We do live together, you know," he said, his voice low. "I can do this for you any time you like."
Asuka scowled. "Don't start with that, Shinji."
"Sorry," he said. "Just something to think about, that's all."
"You think I don't think about it?" she snapped. "You think I don't think about it every single day?" She stiffened under his hands, her irritation obvious.
He stopped for a moment, then squeezed her shoulders gently. "I know," he said. "I didn't mean anything by it. Please, don't be mad."
She took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. "Sorry," she said. "I didn't mean to snap at you. Rinse me off," she said. He did, and then she said, "okay, that's fine. Turn around. I'll do you next."

After Asuka finished with Shinji they finished cleaning themselves individually, then washed their hair. After that they wrapped towels around themselves and made for the pool. While not as large as the main pools, it was still rather substantial -- easily large enough to accommodate eight or so people comfortably. Asuka approached the edge, somewhat nervous, and then, with a deep breath, she dropped her towel and slipped into the warm water. A moment later Shinji followed suit.
"This is nice," Asuka said, swimming about in the shallow water.
"Yeah," Shinji agreed. "It feels good to relax after all the confusion of the festival."
Asuka fell silent for a few minutes, making her way back and forth across the pool. She looked at Shinji, sitting by the edge, his eyes closed and his head back. She chewed her lip thoughtfully. "Shinji?" she called to him.
He opened his eyes, turning to look at her. "Eh?" he asked.
"Come here," she said.
He waded over to her, a curious expression on his face. "What is it?" he asked.
"I--" She frowned. "It's just that . . . " She scowled, then leaned forward and kissed him. He froze in shock for a moment, then gently wrapped his arms around her, returning the kiss. She rested her hands on his chest, kneading it absently as her tongue wrestled with his. The kiss continued for a minute or so, until she clenched one hand into a fist, gently pushing him away. "Damn it," she whispered.
Shinji shook his head. "It's fine," he said. "Don't worry--"
"It's not fine!" she snapped. "It's fucking awful."
"I don't mind," he persisted.
Asuka splashed him with water. "For Christ's sake, Shinji, will you stop being such a fucking doormat all the time? I don't know what I expect you to do about it, but you could at least pretend it bothers you."
"But it doesn't," he said. He frowned. "Well, not really."
She tossed her head in irritation. "What are you talking about?" she snapped.
He shook his head. "I don't like seeing you upset, so that part bothers me. But I don't mind the rest of it. I just want to be with you," he said. "As long as we're together, that's enough for me."
Asuka snorted, crossing her arms. "Well, I'm glad you're content to be with a defective partner, but that doesn't do me any good. I'm still . . . useless." She was on the verge of tears, now.
Shinji shook his head again. "You don't understand," he said.
She glared at him. "I understand Japanese just fine, you moron."
He held up his hands. "No," he said, "that's not what I meant. What I meant was . . . " he sighed. "I don't think you're defective, Asuka."
She gave him a bewildered look. "Are you stupid?" she asked.
"No," he said firmly. "Not this time." He stood, pulling her up with him. "When I said I just wanted to be with you, I meant it.  I didn't mean I'd tolerate being with you even though we can't do this one thing." He stared at her, meeting her gaze directly. "I meant I want to share my life with you. As long as we're together, as long as we're close, that's what matters. I don't care about the details. A physical relationship, making love . . . that sounds great, but . . . " He scratched his head, considering. "Well, I'm not exactly healthy in that department either. So, maybe that's not for us. Maybe that's not the sort of relationship that will make us happy, and we're just fixated on it because it's what everyone else does. And if that's true, then maybe we don't need it." He looked into her eyes, his gaze firm. "We already sleep together, and bathe together, and hold one another when we're hurting. We're together. That's what's important. That's what I value."
She just stared at him, wide-eyed. "Shinji," she breathed.
He took her hands in his own. "If it feels right, we'll do it," he said gently. "And if it doesn't, we won't. I don't think we'll ever be like other people, but that's alright. This, what we have right here? This is fine. It's good." He gently squeezed her hands. "I know happiness isn't really our thing, but this is enough to make me content. And I want you to be content with it too. Can't you be satisfied with that?" He looked at her, his eyes pleading. "Please?" he begged.
She looked to one side, her brows knit as he mind worked. A few moments later she looked back at him. "Is it really okay?" she asked. "Would you really be satisfied if we never . . . you know. Would that really be fine with you?"
He brought a hand to her cheek, cupping her face gently. "I'd like to see it happen someday," he whispered. "But if it doesn't, that's fine." He gave her a tender kiss, then pulled back. "I love you, Asuka. That's enough."
She sniffled, then twined her arms around his neck, pressing close, embracing him. "Okay," she whispered, her voice barely audible. He held her close, stroking her back gently. They stood silently for several moments, the heat of the pool surrounding them. "Shinji?" Asuka asked.
"Yeah?" he replied.
"I like it when you're not an idiot," she said, her voice a breathy whisper. "You should do that more often."
He smiled at her, rubbing her back. "Okay," he said. "I'll try harder, then."

"Why do you feel so strongly about all of this, anyway?" Asuka asked. They were walking along the beach now, having gotten dressed and left the bath a short time earlier. Nagara and Takao followed them, a discreet distance separating the two pairs.
Shinji gave her a strange look. "What do you mean?" he asked.
"Us. Our relationship. It's like you're totally committed to it, no questions asked." She frowned, considering. "You've been like that ever since Third Impact, but you never were before. And I don't get it. I'm not exactly a nice person; I'm kind of a bitch sometimes, especially to you. And I know I've hurt you a lot. But even so, you seem absolutely determined to stay with me, no matter what. And I don't understand why."
Shinji looked out at the ocean, gathering his thoughts as he watched the moonlight dancing across the waves. He took a deep breath and released it slowly. "I . . . " He frowned. "Well, I've always been a little. . . obstinate, I guess?" Asuka made a face, and he shushed her. "Back when we were piloting," he went on, "Misato was always frustrated, because she couldn't just order me to do something. If I didn't want to do it, I wouldn't do it, ever. I always had to come up with my own reasons for piloting, and that was true for everything I did."
Asuka nodded. "Okay . . . "
"When I learned about your feelings during Instrumentality . . . " He broke off, frowning. "No, not during Instrumentality. The time before, I guess." He shrugged. "Anyway, when I learned about what had happened to you, about how you felt . . . well, I couldn't ignore that. Part of it was sympathy, since I knew you'd suffered so much. But part of it . . . " he shook his head. "There's something fierce about you, Asuka. Something strong and proud. And that inspires me. I love seeing that in you. It makes me want to be around you, even if you are kind of a bitch sometimes."
"Hey!" she said, smacking his arm.
He laughed at her. "You just admitted it!" he protested.
"Even so, you shouldn't say that about your girlfriend," she complained.
"Sorry, sorry. But I mean it. I want to see you succeed, to see you thrive, because just being around you when you're doing well makes me want to do better myself." His expression darkened. "And I hate it when you're hurting. That roaring fire in you fades to dull embers, and it's painful to see. I can't stand that, so when I see you like that I have to do something about it."
"Tch," she said. "Is that why you provoke me all the time? You distract me by making me angry so I won't have time to dwell on things that will make me miserable?"
"Uh, well . . . " He laughed, scratching his head. "I don't exactly put that much thought into it, but maybe? I guess?"
She smirked at him. After a moment's thought, she scratched her nose with her finger and said, "Let's go back to the room, Shinji. I have a surprise for you."
"Eh?" he asked, curious. "What do you mean?"
She just hmmmed and said nothing more.

When they got back to the room Asuka headed for her suitcase, rooting around until she found what she wanted.
"So what's this surprise, Asuka?" Shinji asked.
"Well," she said, a coy smile on her face. "Since you've been saying such nice things about me tonight, I decided to repay you with a little gift." She held out her prize in front of her. "I've decided I'll model this disgusting little suit Misato bought, letting you stare your pervy little heart out. What do you think of that, hmmm?"
Shinji looked at the suit and gulped. "Oh wow," he said, his eyes going wide.
Asuka gave him a satisfied smirk, pleased with his reaction. She planted her hand on his chest and gave him a firm push. He lost his balance, falling back on the bed. "You just wait there," she said, heading for the bathroom. "I'll be right back." She closed the door.
Shinji just stared at the door, unable to process what was happening to him. He heard the sounds of her undressing, and tried very hard not to let his imagination run wild. It didn't work. Presently, he heard a whine from the other side of the door. "Kyaaaaaa!" Asuka wailed. "This thing is disgusting! How can anyone even wear something like this?" The door opened a crack, and she stuck out her head. "You better appreciate your good fortune, you stupid brat! You have no idea how embarrassing this is!"
"I appreciate it!" he swore, nodding eagerly. "I'm very happy right now!"
"You better be," she muttered. She zipped up the front of the suit, then looked at herself in the mirror. As with her other suit, this one had a mock turtleneck collar. But unlike that suit, this one barely covered her breasts. The highleg bikini bottom was similarly scandalous, and she didn't even want to think about the thong back. But even so, she had to admit it looked good on her. The dark color suited her. She nodded, satisfied, and turned to exit the room. "Alright, I'm coming out."
She entered the room, and smirked when she got the expected reaction from Shinji. His mouth hung open, and he could only stare at her, utterly fascinated. When she turned around to give him a view of her backside he shifted uncomfortably, one hand covering his mouth as he drank in the sight of her. She watched him carefully, looking for signs of pity or disgust. But all she saw was admiration and lust. She ran a hand over her belly, running her fingers over her scars. "You really don't care about these at all, do you?"
He could only shake his head mutely. His eyes roamed everywhere, as though he couldn't decide what part of her he liked best. Now her breasts, now her legs, now her belly, even her throat, framed as it was by the short collar of her suit. She smiled as he leered at her, planting her hands on her hips and letting him stare as he liked. "I used to hate being stared at," she murmured. "But since you seem to like it so much . . . " She smiled absently. "Maybe I could get used to this," she mused. 
Shinji's eyes widened at the thought. "Oh wow," he said.
She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh?" she asked. "Like that idea, do you?"
Shinji nodded eagerly, utterly lost in the moment. "You're so beautiful, Asuka," he breathed. "I've never seen anyone so beautiful in my life."
She rolled her eyes. "You're either lying or you're an idiot," she laughed.
He shook his head. "I don't think I'm either," he said.
She tossed her head. "Well, whatever. Either way, I guess I gave you some material for your next 'alone time,' eh?" she asked, a lecherous grin on her face.
Shinji blinked. "Huh?"
"You know," she said. "When you . . . " she pointed toward his crotch.
Shinji's face fell, and he looked to the side. "I don't do that anymore," he muttered.
Asuka stared at him in surprise. "Really? Not even a little?"
"No. Never. Not since that day." His voice was dark and bitter.
Asuka grimaced. "Shinji . . . " she began.
"Just the thought of it disgusts me," he spat. He turned toward her, his gaze no longer admiring. "Why would you think I would do that? How could I?"
"But . . . well, what do you do when you get all excited and stuff?" she asked, her voice rising a bit.
"Nothing. I just deal with it," he muttered. "Maybe take a cold shower or something. It doesn't happen that often anyway."
"Shinji . . . " she began. She joined him on the bed. "Do you think that makes me happy? Do you think I want you to suffer like that? Particularly after today?"
He shook his head. "No."
"What you did back then was pretty rotten," she said, her voice like honey, "but you've apologized for it, and I've accepted it. I don't want you to punish yourself like this."
"Thanks," he mumbled, shrugging, "but it doesn't matter. It's not like I'm just denying myself or something, I just can't do it. The very thought of it disgusts me. I said in the pool that I was broken, just like you are. This is one of the ways that's true."
She stared at him, frowning. She chewed her lip for a moment, then nodded in decision. "I see," she said. "Then if that's so, I guess I'll have to help you out."

Shinji jerked his head around to face her, his eyes as wide as saucers. "Asuka . . . you . . . "
"'If it feels right, we'll do it,'" she said, quoting his words from earlier. "That's what you said, right?" she asked, smiling at his confusion. "Well, it feels right. So I'm gonna help you out." She grabbed his shorts. "If you don't want me to, now's the time to say so."
"I . . . I . . . I . . ." he stammered.
She smirked. "That's what I thought," she said, tugging off his shorts. She took him in her hand, stroking him gently. "I don't think I can manage sex tonight," she mumbled, "But I can still take care of you." She pushed him toward the wall. "Back up against the wall," she said gently. "I want you to be able to see me."
He scurried up toward the head of the bed, propping the pillows behind him so he was comfortable. When he was settled she glided between his legs, taking him in hand again. "I can't promise this will be world class," she muttered, "since I've never done this before. But I'm not an idiot! After our last time . . . well, let's just say I did some research and leave it at that." She shot him a stern glare. "Be sure to tell me if I do anything you don't like!" she ordered. "I don't want to hurt you, you know."
He nodded. "Okay," he said.
She stroked him a few times, then bent down and took him in her mouth. She experimented, using her fist and mouth in different combinations, listening carefully to see what he liked and what he didn't. As for Shinji, he was in heaven; every time he looked down he saw the mass of her hair covering his lap, and her gorgeous backside hunched over her knees as she worked. It was a glorious sight, and watching it made him reach his peak quickly.
As his orgasm approached he pushed at Asuka's shoulders. "Asuka," he moaned, "I'm gonna--"
But rather than pull away from him she instead pushed forward, taking him all the way down her throat as he came. He tangled his fingers in her hair and held her head, howling in ecstasy as she drank him dry. When it was over he went limp, breathing heavily, a beatific smile on his face.
Asuka released him, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand as she sat back and surveyed the results of her handiwork. "That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be," she murmured. "Hikari made it sound like it would be awful. Maybe you just taste good or something."
Shinji shook his head in wonder. "I thought girls hated doing that," he said.
She shrugged. "Don't be stupid," she spat. "I'm Asuka Langley Soryu. If I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna be the best at it." She flushed. "Even if it is just a stupid blowjob."
Shinji chuckled at that. Then he leaned forward and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her close for a kiss.
"Hey--" she protested, but it was too late -- his mouth had covered hers, and he was kissing her more passionately than at any point in recent memory. She pushed him away. "Shinji, what's--"
"Please, Asuka," he begged. "You have to let me make you feel like that. You just have to."
She crossed her arms, kneeling on the bed. "Now look," she said huffily, "I think I've been very nice to you tonight. You shouldn't--"
"You have," he said, nodding eagerly. "You've been very nice. I'm so grateful! And that's why I want to return the favor. I want you to feel the way I feel now. Please."
"Well . . . " She looked at him, at the earnestness in his face, and found she couldn't deny him. She coughed. "Well, it's not like I'm not a little excited anyway. But I don't want your mouth down there!" she warned, holding up a finger. "That's disgusting. And be careful with your tongue! You know I'm touchy about that!"
Shinji nodded. "I'll be careful, I promise."
She shrugged, moving beside him. "Yeah, well, we'll see." She paused, then brought her hand to the zipper of her suit's top. "I suppose you want this off?" she asked.
He nodded. "It would help," he said mildly.
"Tch." She unzipped the top, tossing it to the side. "Jesus, Third, you're so greedy. I give you an inch and you take a mile. That's so typical."
"I can't help it," he said, reaching over her to cup a breast. "You're so beautiful like this, and when you're nice on top of it I just gotta do anything I can to make you happy."
She flushed. "That's so corny," she mumbled
"I like corny," he whispered, nuzzling her neck. He nibbled on her ear next, then kissed her deeply, flicking her nipple with his thumb as he did so. She moaned into his mouth, sucking on his tongue as pleasure washed over her. They continued in that vein for awhile, until he moved down to face her breasts directly. "Can I . . . ?" he asked.
She colored again. "Oh, do whatever you want!" she said, exasperated.
With a satisfied grin he did as she bade, taking a nipple in his mouth and sucking gently. He tugged it with his teeth and flicked it lightly with his tongue, just enough to excite her without stirring unpleasant memories. He gave her other nipple the same treatment, then went back to the first, alternating back and forth for several minutes. After some time he began kissing his way down her belly, stopping when he got to the bottom of her suit. He looked up at her. She was flushed, breathless, and heartachingly beautiful. "Asuka?" he asked.
She looked down at him. She didn't even bother to reply, just lifted her hips and shucked the bikini herself. "Remember," she admonished, "watch the tongue."
He nodded. He stroked her legs gently, moving slowly toward her center. She was breathing heavily, relaxed, and excited. She seemed happy, or at least a lot better than the last time they tried something like this. He tentatively put a hand on her; she gasped, but didn't stop him. She was very slick. He began to rub her, exploring, and she cried out when he pinched the nub at the top of her slit. He returned to her breasts as he played with her, and then finally to her mouth, rubbing her more and more roughly as he kissed her deeply. She wrapped one hand around his neck and held him to her, using her other to grab the hand that was fingering her. When he slipped a finger into her she went wild, her nails digging into his neck as her body convulsed. She pushed his hand away from her, wrapping both arms around his neck in a silent demand to be held while she rode the wave of her orgasm. He complied, her body twitching for close to a minute after she peaked.
"Oh God," she said, pushing him gently off of her. "I've never felt anything like that before. I didn't even know it was possible to feel like that. No wonder everyone's so keen on this sex stuff."
"You've never . . . wait, really?" Shinji asked, astounded.
"Nope," she said, shaking her head.
"Never?" he insisted.
She scowled at him. "What did I just say?"
"But you . . . " He stammered. "You were in such a hurry to grow up . . . and Kaji! You wanted to be with him . . . and then the past few years . . . I know you've been frustrated at times, I've seen it! And . . . "
She smiled at his confusion. "I was in a hurry to be treated as an adult, but the thought of actually being an adult disgusted me. To me, sex was something shitty people did to hurt others, because that's how my father and stepmother used it. And then Kaji rejected me, I felt like Misato betrayed me with him, and then there was the trauma of piloting, and you . . . " She shrugged. "Is it any wonder I'm a neurotic mess who just didn't want to deal with it?"
"But you just told me . . . !" he protested.
She shrugged again. "You were already doing it, so I didn't want you to deny yourself. I just never started. It's not the same thing."
Shinji gave her an odd look, unimpressed with her logic.
She scowled at him. "Look, do you wanna argue about this, or do you wanna deal with your little friend there?"
"Huh?" Shinji looked down, noticing with a blush that he was aroused again. "Oh," he said, laughing nervously. He looked at her mouth, licking his lips as he did so. "So, then . . . "
She scoffed. "No, I'm not giving you another blowjob. I'm not that nice."
Shinji blinked in confusion. "Then how . . . ?" he asked.
She spread her legs slightly and held out her arms. "C'mere," she said.
Shinji's jaw dropped. "Asuka . . . " he breathed. "Are you . . . are you sure?"
Her brows knit. "Hurry up, Third Child," she growled, "before I lose my nerve!"
Shinji hesitated a moment more, then moved over her. She put her hands on his shoulders while he positioned himself between her legs. "I don't want to hurt you," he said.
"You won't," she muttered. "I'm feeling pretty relaxed now, not uptight like last time. I'll tell you if it hurts." She took hold of him, guiding him to her entrance.  Shinji held back, wary of hurting her, but she was impatient. She thrust her hips up to meet his, forcing him inside of her. She hissed in pain, holding him still, but gradually relaxed as the pain gave way to pleasure.
Shinji gasped as she moved. She was very tight, but also very wet, so he sank into her easily. "Oh my God," he breathed. "I thought your mouth was heaven, but this . . . oh my God." He looked down at her. "Are you alright?" he whispered.
She nodded. "Yeah," she said. She wrapped her arms and legs around him, holding him tightly. "I'm okay," she said. "Hurry up and fuck me."
Shinji blushed at her language, but complied. He withdrew from her slowly, then thrust back into her, very carefully. She growled in annoyance. "Faster," she ordered. Shinji did as she asked, picking up the pace. A moment of inspiration prompted him to work a hand between them, rubbing at the little nub of flesh between her legs that had so excited her before. "Oh my God!" she screamed, tightening her grip on him like a vice. "Oh fuck, keep doing that, keep doing that! Don't stop!"
It wasn't long until she reached her peak. She screamed and bit his neck as she came, her orgasm much stronger than her previous one. Shinji thrust into her at a frenzied pace, her bite and her cries driving him insane. He came soon after she did, and with a shout he emptied himself into her.
Afterwards, she refused to let him go. When he tried to get off of her she tightened her grip and said, "Don't move."
He frowned. "But I'll crush you," he said.
"I don't care," she replied. "Don't move."
With a sigh he relented, holding her tightly until she dozed off. When she did he shifted to one side, keeping an arm around her as he followed her in slumber.

August 14, 2021

"Hurry up, Asuka!" Misato called. "Takao and Nagara will be here any minute!"
Asuka exited Shinji's room, tying her hair in a ponytail as she went. "I'm coming, I'm coming," she groused. She watched as Misato piled their luggage by the door. "I still don't get why you aren't coming with us," she mused.
Misato smiled brightly. "This is a couples vacation!" she explained. "No sense in me being a third wheel, and it's not like I want to sit around watching other people have fun all day!" Her smile was full of false cheer.
"I really hope Kaji comes back at some point," Shinji said, his voice a low whisper. "This is just depressing."
"I know, right?" Asuka whispered back. "I mean seriously."
Their whispering was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Misato opened the door, revealing a hulking man and a woman of Indian descent on the other side. "Ah, right on time!" she chirped.
The man waved. "Hiya kids," he said, perhaps a bit uncomfortably.
The children eyed their escorts warily. "Don't worry," Misato said, a reassuring note in her voice. "These aren't your run of the mill Section 2 agents. Both were good friends with Mr. Kaji! These are Koji Takao and Sumire Nagara! Please make them feel welcome."
Shinji visibly relaxed upon hearing Misato's words. "You knew Mr. Kaji?" he asked.
Takao nodded. "Yes, we've worked together in the past. Good man."
Nagara smirked. "In more ways than one." Misato glared at her, and she shrugged.
Asuka frowned. "Neither of you looks particularly Japanese. You kind of stand out."
Misato laughed, somewhat nervously. "Asuka, be polite."
Nagara waved a hand dismissively. "It's fine," she said. "It's a legitimate question." She turned toward Asuka. "Actually, considering the location, that's an asset," she noted. "Okinawa gets a lot of tourism throughout the Indo-Pacific region, so we'll fit in better than pure Japanese would." She gave Asuka a wry smile. "Same as you, far as that goes."
Asuka flushed, but didn't press the point.
Misato clapped her hands nervously. "Well then, with the introductions out of the way, let's get started!"
Takao and Nagara grabbed the kids' luggage, and the group proceeded downstairs. As they went, Asuka's curiosity got the best of her. "So," she asked Nagara, "are you and Takao . . . ?"
Nagara didn't miss a beat. "Not at this time," she said. She didn't elaborate.
Asuka stifled a snicker. She decided she and this Nagara woman were going to get along just fine.

Asuka dozed in her seat, the fingers of her hand loosely twined with Shinji's. Shinji looked out the airplane's window, marveling at the great blue expanse beneath them. They were perhaps an hour away from Okinawa island, where they would switch planes before heading to Senega airport. Nagara and Takao sat across the aisle, he following Asuka's example while she read a magazine.
It wasn't long before Asuka started to dream. "Mama," she whimpered. "Please look at me. Please don't . . . " she trailed off, then whimpered again.
Nagara looked up from her magazine, struck by the pain in the girl's voice. "Mr. Ikari," she said, her voice subdued, "should we wake her?"
Shinji shook his head. His jaw was clenched, and while he continued to look out the window he no longer seemed interested in the scenery. "It's worse if she wakes up in the middle of it," he said softly. "It's best to let her sleep. She'll be grumpy when she wakes up, but the dream won't be fresh in her mind."
Nagara frowned, unconvinced. But she ultimately shrugged and returned to reading her magazine.

"Oh my god," Asuka exclaimed, outrage in her voice.
They were unpacking, having just settled into their hotel room. "What is it?" Shinji asked, concerned.
Asuka held a fistful of material. "This!" she snarled. "How the fuck did this end up in my bag?"
Shinji struggled to see what she had in hand. "Um . . . " he began.
Asuka huffed in annoyance. "This, you idiot!" she said, holding the material in front of him. It included a zipper front bikini top, coupled with a thong bikini bottom.
Shinji blushed furiously. "That . . . " he stammered. "I didn't have anything to do with that!" he said.
Asuka stared at him contemptuously. "Of course you didn't," she said. "You wouldn't have the nerve."
Shinji flinched, but was unable to deny the extreme justice of Asuka's comment.
"This is Misato's work," the girl went on, "I'm sure of it. She had our bags this morning, remember? She obviously stuck it in when I was getting ready."
"Well . . . " Shinji began, trying to be diplomatic, "even if that's true, why would she do that?"
Asuka snorted. "Because she thinks I'm a prude," she said. "She thinks I need to 'branch out'." She said the last using scare quotes.
Shinji thought a moment. "Oh." He licked his lips, then said "Well . . . "
Asuka just stared at him. "Don't even think it, idiot. Not even in your dreams."
Shinji laughed nervously. "Sorry," he said.
Asuka sighed. "Stop apologizing, you moron." She threw the outfit into her bag, then retrieved another. "Let's just hit the beach."
Shinji nodded, grabbing his swim trunks. "Okay," he said, "Ready to go."

Asuka exited the bathroom stall, duffel bag in hand. She headed toward Nagara, then turned so the woman could zip up her suit.
"That's a great suit," Nagara said, zipping up her suit, "and you wear it well. You have excellent taste."
Asuka's cheeks colored a little. "Thanks," she mumbled.
Nagara smirked. "I can see Takao and I will have our hands full," she mused. "You'll be getting all sorts of attention wearing that."
Asuka scowled. "Whaaaaaaat?" she whined. "It doesn't even show any skin!"
Nagara chuckled. "Doesn't matter. It's stylish, and you're wearing it. Quite frankly you could make a canvas bag look good, and this is a hell of a lot more than that."
"Tch," Asuka said. "Did Misato pay you to say that?"
Nagara stared at her, genuinely surprised. "Of course not," she said. "Why would she have to? It's obvious to anyone who's looking."
Asuka held up her right hand. "I'm not stupid, you know," she spat.
Nagara snorted. "Miss Soryu, look in the mirror," she said, turning Asuka so she could see her reflection. "Do you honestly think anyone will care about a few scars when they get a look at that body?"
Asuka colored again. "Well . . . " she hedged.
Nagara sighed. "Trust me," she said, "we'll be busy." She smirked. "I just hope we don't have to fend off Mr. Ikari. That could get awkward."
Asuka scowled. "He doesn't have the nerve," she muttered.
Nagara raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" she asked.
"Trust me," Asuka spat, "bitter experience speaking here."
Nagara hummed. "Well, I suppose we'll see," she said.

Shinji and Takao were waiting for the girls outside the bathroom. When they emerged, their reaction was both unmistakable and immediate.
Takao let out a low whistle at the sight of her. Shinji, for his part, just stared, slack-jawed. Nagara rolled her eyes at the both of them.
Asuka glared at Shinji. "Oh, come on," she spat. "At least pretend you're an adult."
Shinji blinked, then shook his head. "Come on, Asuka," he said. "You're not fighting fair."
Asuka stomped her foot, hands on hips. "I am so!" she protested. "It doesn't show any skin at all!"
Shinji gave her a weak smile. "But it's cool, and it's red, and those legs . . ."
Asuka rolled her eyes. "You're pathetic," she said, her voice full of contempt.
Shinji shrugged. "I can't help it," he said. "You're beautiful."
Asuka flushed, then stabbed a hand toward the water. "Beach," she said. "Now."
Shinji headed for the water.

"There's something I've noticed," Nagara mused. They were sitting at a picnic table, she and Takao, watching the Children as they played on the beach.
"What's that?" Takao asked.
"These kids are . . . I'm not quite sure how to put it," she said. "There's an odd heaviness about them."
Takao nodded in agreement. "I've noticed that as well," he said. "There's no passion or ambition in anything they do. It's as though just getting by takes all of their energy."
"Perhaps it does," Nagara mused.
"Mmm?" he asked.
"Well," she went on, "if I understand it right, they're both suffering from some pretty severe PTSD. So maybe this is the best they can manage."
Takao shrugged. "Maybe so," he agreed. "But I don't think they've given up just yet."
"What do you mean?" Nagara asked.
"Have you noticed how she poses for him?" he asked. "She knows how that suit affects him, and every now and then she'll give him just enough of a look at her ass to keep his attention. If he's obvious about looking she'll lay into him, but if he's subtle she'll let him look as long as he likes. And, surprisingly, he's usually pretty good about being subtle."
Nagara nodded, smiling. "Yeah, I caught that. She wants him to look at her, but she doesn't want to feel like a piece of meat. I can relate," she added, rather pointedly.
Takao held up his hands. "Hey now, don't start with that," he grumbled.
She laughed. "Sorry, sorry. I didn't mean anything by it."
Takao relaxed, mollified. "Anyway . . . didn't they say something about going to that IEA facility tomorrow?"
"Yes, that was my understanding," Nagara said, nodding. She smirked. "It should be amusing to watch them go through the decontamination procedures."
"Heh. That's a pretty big facility, isn't it?" he asked.
Nagara nodded. "Yeah, seems so. It sounds amazing; they're apparently doing a lot of work to restore all sorts of animals lost in the Impacts, and to restore the world's oceans as well. It's a huge project."
"Hmmm," Takao mused. "Does that tie in with Ikari's work at all?"
Nagara shook her head. "The way I understand it, the project has U.N. funding but is administered by the Japanese government, and by Okinawa prefecture specifically. Herz is a major backer, but they are not directly involved."
"Ah. Well, that should be interesting for him, then," Takao said.
Nagara nodded. "Yeah. Hopefully it'll get him to stop moping so much," she groused. She turned to watch the Children as they continued tossing a frisbee back and forth. "Though it's not like staring at her isn't already helping with that!"

March 6, 2021

"Asuka, come on, open the door!" Misato called, banging on the apartment door for the third time. She turned to her companion. "What the devil is that girl doing? It's the middle of the afternoon, and I know she's here."
Ryoji Kaji rocked back on his heels, a bemused smile on his face. "Um, Katsuragi . . . do you think maybe--"
Asuka opened the door, a scowl marring her pretty face. Her hair was wet, and she held a towel in front of her. "Jeez, Misato, what do you want?" she demanded. "I was in the--"
She broke off, her eyes wide as saucers when she realized who was standing by Misato. With a shriek of embarrassment she slammed the door in their faces.
"Hmmm, maybe not," Kaji mused. He looked over at Misato. "She's grown up quite nicely, hasn't she?"
Misato scowled. "That's my daughter you're talking about, you lech."
Kaji grinned. "Even so . . . "
"She'll be your daughter too, you know," Misato snapped.
Kaji rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I've always had this fantasy about a stepdaughter . . . "
Misato sighed. "You're disgusting," she said, resigned.
Kaji just gave her a roguish grin and shrugged. Switching gears, he said "Katsuragi. Those scars . . . "
Misato nodded. "Yes," she said.
"They're from piloting?" he asked.
Misato nodded again. "Correct. The Lances, even the replicas, were designed to pierce AT Fields. They left deep scars on the souls of their targets as a result."
"I see," he said, his voice grim.
Further conversation was cut off as the door opened again, this time with Shinji on the other side. He wore pants but no shirt. "Mister Kaji!" he exclaimed, surprise and delight evident in his voice.
"Heya kid!" Kaji said, waving.
"Please come in!" Shinji said. He stood aside, allowing them to enter. He closed the door, then said, "I can make tea if you like . . . no, you prefer coffee, don't you? Is the canned stuff alright?"
Kaji laughed. "That's fine," he said.
After Shinji had gotten them their drinks Misato looked around, finding no sign of Asuka. "Asuka?" she called.
A petulant whine from the direction of Shinji's bedroom was her only response.
"Come on out, sweetie," Misato asked.
Another whine.
Misato scowled. "Asuka Langley Soryu, get out here this instant!"
It took a few moments, but Asuka eventually appeared, clad in one of Shinji's shirts and little else. She was beet red, and wouldn't meet anyone's eyes.
Misato smiled. "That's better," she said.
Kaji smiled at the younger woman. "Heya kitten," he said. He eyed her up and down, then gave an appreciative whistle. "Wow," he said, "you've really grown up."
Asuka squeaked, retreating behind Shinji.
Misato scowled at Kaji. "I'm sitting right here, you know."
Kaji laughed. "Sorry, sorry," he said, waving his hand dismissively. "But still," he went on, turning back to Asuka, "we should get caught up sometime. I know this nice place downtown . . . "
Shinji glowered at him. "Mister Kaji, she's mine," he said.
Asuka slapped his shoulder, but that didn't stop her from biting her lip to cover a small smile.
Kaji glanced from one to the other, then smiled broadly. "So it seems," he said, nodding. "That's good," he went on. "I'm very happy for the both of you. Back then, things were so chaotic . . . I was very worried about you two." He scratched the back of his head. "I guess we didn't do a very good job of protecting you." He looked at Misato. "That was our responsibility, and yet we were so concerned with finding the truth, and defending the world, that I guess we forgot about you kids in the process. I hope you can forgive us for that."
"It's okay sir," Shinji said. "We understand."
Kaji smiled, a sad smile. He kept his gaze fixed on Asuka. She seemed very subdued, and not because of her earlier embarrassment. "I'd like to make it up to you," he said. "If you'll give me the chance, that is."
Asuka looked at him, not quite meeting his eyes. After a moment she nodded, once.
Kaji sighed in relief. "Okay, good," he said. "That's the hard part done, anyway." He glanced at Misato. "Now what should we . . . uh oh."
She was making a choking motion with her hands. "Do you know how long I had to work to get that much out of her?" she growled. "Years, man! Two stinking years! And here you just waltz in and . . . argh!"
Kaji held up a hand in a calming gesture. "Come on now, Katsuragi," he said. "Calm down."
Shinji nodded. "Mister Kaji's right, Miss Misato. Asuka's a lot better now, and--"
"Oh, shut up," Misato seethed. "He's still benefiting from all of our hard work." She nodded to herself, affirming her own claims. "Lazy bum! Just sit around in the ocean while the rest of us do all the important stuff, then show up later with that stupid grin . . . " She was on the verge of tears.
Kaji smiled at her, a genuine smile. "Sorry, Katsuragi," he said. "I wish--"
"It's 'Misato'," Asuka interrupted.
Kaji and Misato both looked her way, surprised. "Pardon?" Kaji asked.
"Her name. It's Misato." She looked from one to the other, at the confused expressions on their faces. "You're fucking, right?" Kaji and Misato looked at one another, the latter blushing furiously. "You're in a relationship, right?"
"Well . . . " Kaji began.
"So you're Ryoji, and she's Misato," Asuka explained. "That's how it works, right?"
"Um . . . well . . . " Kaji laughed nervously.
"So stop stonewalling and take responsibility already," Asuka said, weariness in her voice.
"Heh." Kaji coughed, then glanced at Misato. "She's way too clever, that one," he said, indicating Asuka.
Misato smiled. "Yes," she said, thoughtful. "Yes, she is."
Kaji sighed. "I suppose she's right." He squared his shoulders, facing Misato head-on. "Alright then," he said, extending his hand. "Misato."
Misato took his hand, smiling happily. "Ryoji," she said.
Kaji smiled at her for a moment, then turned to the kids. "Well, I guess we've taken up enough of your time," he said. "See you later, I hope?"
Shinji nodded. "Sure!" he said.
Asuka shrugged.
Kaji preceded Misato out the door. Before she left she took Asuka in her arms, giving her a fierce hug. "Thank you," she whispered.
Asuka squirmed in Misato's embrace. "Whatever," she mumbled.
Misato ruffled the girl's hair, then joined Kaji outside.
Shinji shut the door, then turned to Asuka.
"Not one word, Third Child," she growled. She headed back to Shinji's bedroom. Shinji stayed put for a moment, bemused. He wasn't quite sure what to do, until Asuka shouted, "Get in here, you idiot!"
Shinji hurried to comply.

Kaji frowned as Misato closed the door to Shinji's apartment, joining him outside. "Katsu--" He caught himself. "Uh, Misato," he said awkwardly.
She gave him a resigned smile. "You can stick with 'Katsuragi'," she said. "Save the other for when you really mean it."
He held up his hands. "It's not that--"
"I know," she said, touching his arm. "Things are different for us. It's fine."
Kaji sighed with relief. "Okay," he said, offering her a lopsided grin. "Sorry, Katsuragi."
She smiled sadly, taking his arm in hers as they headed back to her apartment. "Anyway," she said, "what is it?"
He nodded, the mask back in place. "The Children," he said. "I don't understand their relationship."
"Oh?" Misato asked.
"She was wearing his shirt," Kaji noted, "and he made it clear they were together, and yet . . . " he trailed off. "I dunno, something just feels off."
She nodded. "Yes, that's true. They're very close, but they're not sleeping together." She frowned. "Or rather, they are sleeping together, but only in the most literal sense of the term. Physical intimacy is difficult for them, but they are very close emotionally."
"I see," Kaji said. He laughed ruefully. "The reverse of us, then."
Misato smiled sadly. "Yes," she said, "I suppose so."
Kaji turned to her, catching her tone. "Sorry, Katsuragi. I didn't mean--"
She shook her head. "No," she said, "it's fine. Don't worry about it."
Kaji sighed and slumped a bit, but let it go. Misato took his arm in hers and led him down the hallway to her apartment. She guided him inside, and then closed the door behind them.

August 11, 2016

Misato closed her eyes, taking  a deep, steadying breath. She let it out slowly, composing herself, then opened the door before her.
The doctor was seated at his desk, reviewing the files she'd given him. He glanced at her as she entered, his expression neutral. "Welcome, Colonel Katsuragi," he said. "Thank you for coming."
Misato nodded, sitting in one of the chairs before his desk. "Have you had a chance to review the Children's cases, then?" she asked.
Dr. Okada nodded. "I have," he replied. "I also reviewed the supplemental material you saw fit to include."
Misato cringed, but said nothing.
"That material came as a bit of a shock," Dr. Okada observed.
Misato nodded. "It seemed . . . relevant," she explained.
"Indeed." Dr. Okada held her gaze for a moment, his own inscrutable. "Since you were willing to expose yourself in that fashion I'm inclined to believe you are acting in good faith," he said. "But, even so, I need to know how far you're willing to go in the pursuit of the Children's treatment."
Misato's eyes widened a fraction. "How far . . . ?"
Dr. Okada nodded. "During our session Ms. Soryu indicated that she wishes to recuperate elsewhere. Her ability to trust has been badly damaged, and she seems to be alarmed by the effects her behavior is having on Mr. Ikari."
Misato half rose from her chair in alarm. "Elsewhere? But that's impossible, she . . . who'll take care of her?"
"We spoke about that very issue, of course. After some discussion she settled on a private facility in Kyoto. It is a secure facility, but the patients are allowed to come and go as they choose. Access to visitors is strictly controlled. And," he added, anticipating her next question, "I'm confident that arrangements can be made to allow access for your own security personnel as well."
Misato sank back into her chair. "Kyoto," she breathed. She shook her head. "Does she really hate me that much?"
Dr. Okada raised an eyebrow. "I do not think you were the primary motivation there," he observed wryly.
"Eh?" Misato asked, puzzled.
"The Third Child," he said simply. "Her exact words were 'If I'm around here, that stupid idiot will do something stupid like check up on me. I don't wanna be anywhere near him.'"
"Shinji?" she asked. "I thought they were trying to get along."
"'Trying' being the operative term. Succeeding is another matter. It is my opinion that the boy's mere presence is painful for her, and I firmly believe she does not want to wind up hating him. She needs to recover in isolation if she is to have any hope of achieving that end."
Misato swallowed thickly, then nodded slowly. "I see," she said.
"As her legal guardian you of course have final say on the matter, and that's quite apart from the authority you possess as commander of Herz," he noted. "But I would strongly recommend allowing her to pursue this path."
Misato rubbed her forehead wearily, then sighed. "Alright," she said. "That's fine. If that's what she wants, I'll . . . I'll make it happen."
Dr. Okada nodded. "Very well, then. I'll let the staff at the facility know."
Misato nodded. "What about Shinji?" she asked.
"I see no reason why the boy can't be treated locally," the doctor said. "However, you should be aware that his feelings toward you might best be described as 'uncomfortable.' Leaving aside the ethical implications of your past behavior toward him, said behavior has created a deep ambivalence in him regarding your suitability as his guardian."
Misato shook her head in denial. "But there's no one else! He has no parents, no other relatives . . . and besides, he's the Third Child! We have to protect him! We owe him that much, we--"
Dr. Okada held up a hand. "Col. Katsuragi, I understand the circumstances. I am simply explaining the boy's mental state as I understand it. The situation is what it is, and we must work within those boundaries if we're going to help him."
"Then . . . what did you have in mind?"
Dr. Okada leaned back, folding his hands on his desk. "Mr. Ikari is 15 years old. Despite his traumas he appears to be able to look after himself, and has the requisite skills to manage his own life. I would suggest we allow him to live on his own, while simultaneously ensuring that he has access to a viable support structure should the need arise. That, combined with his treatment options, would ensure the greatest chance of eventual recovery."
Misato frowned, considering. "I guess . . . I know there are other apartments in my complex available. Maybe I could get him one of those?"
"That would work nicely, I think," he replied.
Misato dragged a hand through her hair, clearly unhappy. "He won't take the news about Asuka well," she griped. "Those two are . . . it's painful to watch, but they're oddly dependent on one another."
Dr. Okada took his chin in his hand. "You might be surprised," he mused. "As long as you frame it in such a way that this is in Ms. Soryu's best interests I think he'll accept it. She seems to be his top priority these days. That's not a healthy mindset, and it's something we'll have to address, but in the short term it's helpful for us."
Misato smiled. "Yeah," she agreed, "that's probably true." She stood. "Alright, then. I'll speak to him about it." She turned to leave.
"Colonel," Dr. Okada said. "One more thing."
She stopped, looking back at him. "Yes?"
"I'm not in a position to act on the matter, and even if I were I think it would do more harm than good at this point. But this . . . " he placed his hand on the supplementary file she'd given him. "I won't forget what I read here." There was iron in his tone, and condemnation as well.
Misato turned toward the door. As she was about to leave, she stopped. "Nor should you," she said quietly. "They certainly won't," she added, "and neither will I."

December 7, 2018

"Shinji?" Misato asked. "Are you ready for tomorrow's recital?" Her voice was weary, and she sounded distracted.
Shinji looked up at Misato's question. He and Asuka were watching TV in Misato's living room, dinner long since over. "Yes ma'am," he replied.
Asuka shot to her feet. "Wait, what? You promised to take Hikari and me to the mall downtown tomorrow! What the hell?"
Misato looked at her for a moment, puzzled, then grimaced as memory hit. "Oh, crap," she said. "I'm sorry, Asuka, I forgot all about that. Maybe we can--"
"This always happens!" Asuka interrupted. "Every time you say you'll do something for me, something with stupid Shinji comes up and I wind up getting sidelined."
Misato drew a hand over her face, and took a breath. "Asuka--" she began.
"I'm tired of this!" Asuka complained. "You said you were gonna make it up to me, but you always--"
"God damn it, Asuka, will you stop being such a petulant child?" Misato yelled. "You're sixteen years old already, and you keep going on about how you want to be treated like an adult. Would it kill you to act like one?"
Shinji recoiled a bit. "Misato . . . " he said.
Misato ignored him, focusing her ire on Asuka. "Every time the tiniest little thing goes wrong you see fit to throw a tantrum, and I'm sick of it. I'm a person, Asuka. Yes, I'm a Colonel at Herz. Yes, I'm your guardian. But I'm also a human being, and sometimes I make mistakes, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't take every minor mishap as a personal affront or evidence that I'm somehow out to get you!"
Asuka squirmed, unable to meet her guardian's gaze. She took a deep breath, ready to argue, but then her gaze happened upon the calendar on the wall. December 7, she realized. That was the date. All off a sudden, her anger drained from her. After some time, she looked Misato in the eye and said, "It was today, wasn't it?"
Misato looked at her strangely. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
Asuka smiled, a sad smile. "Kaji," she said. "It happened today, didn't it? On this date, I mean. Three years ago today."
Misato's lip quivered, and her eyes began to water. She tried to think of something to say, but before she could the girl's arms were around her neck, holding her tightly. She returned the embrace, noting that Asuka was very stiff. She doesn't like it, Misato thought. But she held the girl nonetheless, shaking as she cried. Finally, she pushed her away, gathering her composure.
"It's okay," Asuka said. "I'm not mad. And," she continued, "I'm sorry. I won't . . . " she stopped, reconsidering. "It's not like I try to be a bitch. Ask Shinji, he knows." She looked at the boy, but he could only stare at the two women in confusion.
Misato laughed, drying her eyes. "I shouldn't have yelled at you," she said. "That was inappropriate. It would be okay if we went to the mall on Sunday, right?" She managed a weak grin. "I mean, you want to see his recital anyway, don't you?"
Asuka shrugged. "That's fine, I guess. It's not like the idiot can't play or anything."
Misato laughed, patting Asuka on the shoulder. "Okay then," she said. "Okay. Good." She rightened herself, putting on the air of the guardian she pretended to be. "With that settled, I'm heading for bed. Be sure to lock the door when you leave, okay?"
Both Shinji and Asuka nodded. "Yes ma'am!" they said, in unison.
Misato headed to her room, and Asuka sat back down beside Shinji.
"What was all that about?" Shinji asked.
Asuka stuck out her chin. "Don't ask stupid questions, Third Child."
"But--" he began.
"It was girl stuff, alright?" Asuka said. "You wouldn't understand."
He scowled. "You don't have to treat me like I'm a child," he said, hurt.
She scowled at him. "Look, it doesn't concern you, alright? We're working things out, same as you and I are. I don't explain everything about our relationship to her, and the same applies here. Get it?"
Shinji stared at her for a moment, puzzled, then shrugged. "Well, okay I guess. As long as everything's alright."
"It's fine, stupid Shinji." Asuka said. "She's upset now, but she'll be okay after a good night's sleep."
Shinji gave her a skeptical look, but ultimately relented. "Fine," he said. "If you say so."
Asuka didn't reply, instead returning her attention to the TV program in front of her. But every so often her attention drifted to her guardian's door, and she resolved to be a little nicer to her for the next couple of days.

April 6, 2021

Asuka stared at the computer monitor in front of her and frowned. She leaned back in her chair, crossing her hands over her stomach, and made a face. Potential Thesis Projects, the screen read. 1. Applications of the anti-A.T. Field to Resuscitation and Rehabilitation Efforts, 2. Development of Quantum Synchronization and Communication Techniques, 3. Rapid Regeneration of Damaged Tissue Using LCL As a Medium . . .
She ran her hands over her face and growled in frustration. "Gah, this is stupid," she said.
She idly spun her chair, dragged a foot on the ground to stop, then spun again. She completed two more cycles before she saw a familiar figure, leaning against the door frame of her office with an amused look on her face.
"Having fun?" Misato asked.
Asuka closed her eyes and moaned. "I'm trying to come up with a thesis project," she said, "but all the options really suck. I can't even come up with a damn field, and they'd all be super expensive to fund."
"Well, I wouldn't worry about that," Misato mused. "I'm sure we could work something out, no matter what you decide to do."
"Oh really?" Asuka asked, arching her eyebrows. "I didn't realize Herz could afford to throw its resources around quite so casually."
"Don't be silly," Misato replied. "No matter the specifics, your work is directly relevant to Herz's basic mandate. Supporting it is a sound investment."
"I'm honored," Asuka quipped. She was only half-joking.
"Speaking of which," Misato continued, indicating the papers scattered about Asuka's desk, "are those Yui Ikari's notes?"
Asuka nodded. "Yeah. I can't believe how much trouble it was to get ahold of these. Thanks for helping with that, by the way."
"No problem," Misato said. "What was so damn important about them, anyway? I practically had to get the Prime Minister himself involved to force the university to turn them over, and by my understanding they're just the original copies of work that's already been published. Why did Ikari have them locked up so tight?"
"I don't think it was his doing, actually," Asuka said.
"Oh?"
Asuka shook her head. "No. Look here," she said, indicating one of the papers. It was indeed a copy of one of Yui's papers, but it had handwritten notes in the margins. "See these notes? None of that is in the final products. Those were made available to the Commander and Seele, but I'm pretty sure no one else knew about these copies apart from Subcommander Fuyutsuki."
"Her advisor?" Misato asked. "But even so, what's . . . "
"Most of it's relatively minor," Asuka began. "But some of it's very interesting. For example, when she talks about the nature of the Evangelion as a human being, she notes that it will require a soul. But she never says anything about where they'd get the soul -- maybe they intended to stuff some random person in there, I dunno. But the note in the margin is very specific," she said, pointing at the page.
Misato looked. Ikari Y., underlined twice. Soryu K.?
"She . . . " Misato began, astonished. "She knew? But I thought the Contact Experiment was a failure, that it was an accident."
Asuka nodded. "Of course, so did everyone. That's why my mother attempted to refine the experiment and repeat it. She wouldn't have done that if she'd known that Ikari wanted to enter the Eva, so that's why it had to be kept quiet." She turned the page. "It gets better," she said. "Check out the part on synchronization.
Familial relationship likely required. Children?
Misato floundered aimlessly for a chair for a moment before finally grabbing it and sitting down. "I feel sick," she said. She looked up at Asuka. "You seem very calm about all of this," she noted.
Asuka shrugged."Same old, same old. So someone else at Nerv betrayed us? Whoopty do. At this point the novelty is discovering people who weren't ready and willing to sell us out."
"You're far too young to be so cynical," Misato drawled.
Asuka shrugged again.
"But that aside," Misato went on, "this doesn't make any sense. If this information's so sensitive why even keep copies of the documents to begin with?"
"That's a very good question," Asuka admitted. "If the Subcommander ever returns maybe we can ask him." She cocked her head, looking at Misato in curiosity. "With all of that said, what brings you here today, anyway?"
Misato blinked. "Oh yeah," she said with a laugh. She clapped her hands together. "Well, if you're up for a break, how about lunch?" she asked.
Asuka shrugged. "Sure, might as well," she said. "I'm not making any headway here anyway."

They ate in the school's cafeteria, opting for greasy Western food over traditional Japanese fare. Asuka had just taken a bite of her cheeseburger when Misato spoke. "Asuka?" she asked. "Mind if I ask you something?"
Asuka swallowed her bite, then frowned. "What is it?" she asked.
Misato took a bite of a french fry. "Did you see your mother in Instrumentality?"
Asuka's eyes snapped open and she gave Misato a hard stare. "Where did that come from?" she asked.
Misato shrugged. "Just thinking, that's all," she said.
Asuka took another bite of her cheeseburger, then said, "Yes. Briefly. But she wasn't like I remembered her. She was different somehow. But she was there."
Misato nodded, lost in thought. "I saw my father," she said softly.
"Really?" Asuka asked. "I didn't know that."
Misato took a sip of her drink, staring off into space. "I saw him, but I didn't see my mother. She died before Second Impact. I wonder if that's relevant somehow?"
Asuka shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe."
Misato dragged a hand through her hair in frustration. "I wish we had a better idea of how this whole business works," she grumbled.
Asuka swallowed the last of her sandwich. "Don't lie," she said with a smirk. "You just want Kaji back."
Misato shot her a harsh glare. "You're reminding me more and more of Ritsuko every day," she growled.
Asuka froze, inches away from biting into her second sandwich. "You did not just compare me to that bitch," she hissed.
Misato covered her head with her hands. "Don't be childish," she mumbled. "I compared you to my best friend, not to the monster she became."
"I thought Shinji was your best friend," Asuka said, taking a bite of her cheeseburger.
"Shinji's a doormat," Misato said.
Asuka blinked, then laughed. "Isn't that my line?" she asked.
"He is!" Misato protested. "He's helpful and earnest and very nice, but he wouldn't know assertiveness if it walked up and bit him. And it's so frustrating! He stands up to you all the time, I see it, but with everyone else he's a passive little mouse."
"That's true," Asuka agreed, chewing thoughtfully. "He doesn't like it when I yell at him, and he's learned that being assertive around me means I'll be nicer to him. But the rest of you are too polite to criticize him, so he doesn't feel the need to change. Typical Japanese."
Misato snorted. "How delightfully racist of you."
Asuka shrugged. "It's true. You only ever called him out when it came to his piloting; apart from that you let him do whatever he wanted, which was usually nothing at all. What did you expect?"
"Mmmm. Maybe." Misato sat up. "That reminds me," she said. "What are you going to tell him about his mother's notes?"
"Hah!" Asuka laughed. "Not a damn thing."
"Whaaaat?" Misato protested. "Don't you think he has a right to know?"
Asuka snorted. "Know what? That his mother was a narcissistic  lunatic who willingly entered the Eva and planned to use him from the start, and planned the same for me and my mom? Fuck that. He doesn't need that kind of guilt trip."
"I see," Misato said, frowning.
"Look," Asuka said, scowling at her, "it's not like I'm gonna lie to him. If he asks me about it I'll tell him the truth. But I don't see the point to hurting him like that when it won't do anyone any good."
Misato regarded her for a moment, then shook her head with a laugh.
"What's so funny? Asuka asked.
"Nothing, really," Misato said. "It's just cute how protective you can be sometimes."
Asuka flushed. "Shut up," she mumbled.
"Gotta take care of your little chew toy, hmmm?" Misato asked, a twinkle in her eye.
"Hey!" Asuka protested.
Misato just laughed.

August 26, 2016

Shinji was exiting the shower when he heard a knock on the door. He cursed, wrapping the towel around him. He headed for the door. "Who could that be?" he wondered.
He was not prepared for the face that greeted him when he opened the door. "Touji!" he exclaimed.
Touji gave hm a wistful smile. "Heya, Shin-man," he said, somewhat subdued. "How ya doin'?"
"I-" Shinji stammered. "I'm . . . "
Touji smirked. "Spit it out, dummy."
"I . . . please come in!" Shinji bowed and moved away from the doorway.
Touji chuckled and stepped inside. Shinji just stared him for a few moments, then said, " I . . . I gotta get dressed."
"Sure," Touji laughed. "Take your time."
Shinji left for a bit, then returned fully dressed. He looked at Touji, still shocked by the latter's presence. "How did you find me?" he asked.
Touji laughed. "It wasn't hard," he said. "When I came out there were people there to meet me, and I said I was a friend of yours. They told Miss Misato, and she told me how to find you. So I came here as soon as I could." He blushed a little. "Well, after I tracked down Hikari, that is."
Shinji brightened. "Miss Horaki's here? She's alive?"
Touji nodded. "Yep! She's fine. Her sisters are too." He grinned. "And so is Sakura, in case you're wondering."
Shinji smiled, delighted. "Thank goodness," he said. His face fell, a tidal wave of guilt engulfing him as the memories took hold. "I'm sorry I never came to see you," he said, his voice cracking. "After what happened I couldn't . . . I couldn't face you, and . . . " He stopped, frowning in confusion as he looked his friend over. "Your leg," he whispered. "It's . . . "
Touji looked at his leg, laughing lightly. "Yeah," he said. "Pretty cool, huh?" He looked back at Shinji. "It's weird, though; the leg's fine, but there's a scar where it was originally cut off. Kinda freaks me out."
Shinji nodded. "It's the same with Asuka," he said. "She has scars around her eye, and down her arm, and on her stomach. She's," he blushed, "she's really self-conscious about them."
"Heh," Touji said. "Guess that makes sense. Sucks though."
"Yeah." Shinji gulped, then looked at his friend. He bowed deeply. "I'm so sorry! That was all my fault. If only I had done something . . . " He righted himself, clenching his fists. "I always run away! And when I do, something terrible happens. To you, to Asuka, to Ayanami . . . everyone always suffers because of me!"
Touji just stared at him. "What are you talking about?" he asked, baffled.
Shinji blinked in confusion.
"You weren't the one who infected me with an Angel," his friend went on. "You were just a kid, Shinji. I mean, you didn't even know who was piloting the Eva, right? You just didn't want to hurt anyone. And then you were in this impossible situation, and you just . . . froze up. How was that your fault?"
Shinji scowled. "Asuka says the same thing," he said.
Touji blinked, surprised. "Really?" he asked. He scratched his head. "Huh. Well, she's right."
Shinji shook his head. "But I should have done something! I should have--"
Touji held up a hand. "Look man, it's no big deal. I mean yeah, maybe you should have done something, but so what? Maybe if you had things would have been worse. Who knows? Either way I'm not gonna blame you for what happened. The Angel's responsible for that, not you."
Shinji sulked. "Even so . . . " he said.
Touji scowled. "Look," he growled, "I didn't come here to argue with you. We gonna hit the arcade, or what?"
Shinji blinked at him, stunned. Then he grinned. "Sure!" he said.
Touji jerked his head to the door. "Alright then, let's go."
Shinji nodded, following his friend out the door.

October 13, 2019

They were watching TV at his place when he said it. There was nothing of note to watch, of course, it being Sunday morning and all. But it was a nice way to kill time until her lunch date with Hikari. And then, out of the blue, he said it. "Asuka?" he asked.
She kept her attention on the TV. "What is it?"
He fidgeted a bit, then said, "I think I . . . like you."
She turned her head, appraising him for a moment. Then she narrowed her eyes and said, "Idiot. Don't talk about things you don't understand."
He blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"
She snorted. "You don't even know what love is, you blockhead."
He frowned. "I don't think that's true."
"Of course it's true," she mocked. "You can't even love yourself, what on earth makes you think you can love me?"
He fidgeted. "Well . . . "
"Things are hard enough for us without you saying stupid shit like that," she went on. "What the hell were you thinking?"
"I don't . . . " Shinji sputtered, shrinking back. "I don't know," he mumbled. "I just thought it was something you'd like to hear."
"'Something I'd like to hear'," she repeated. "Yeah, that's what I figured."
Shinji's mouth worked, but no sound came out.
"Shinji," she said coldly, "do you really think I don't know what people say about me?" Her lips twisted into a mocking sneer. " 'Oh that Asuka, she's such a bitch! Can't you do something to calm her down?' That's what they say. And here you come, saying you like me, or any of the other stupid things you've been saying the past few weeks. Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out?"
He shook his head, utterly bewildered. "No, you're wrong! That's not--"
"It is!" she barked. She pointed at his crotch. "That's the only love you've ever known, and we both know how that turned out!"
Shinji went very still, remembering the horrible day and all the self-hatred that went along with it. "How can you say that?" he asked. "You know I . . . " he trailed off, unable to continue.
She took several deep breaths, trying to calm down. When she opened her eyes, She glared at him in disgust. "What we have between us is guilt and desperation, not love. I don't like it. I know you don't like it, either. But we're stuck with it. Don't make it worse for both of us by pretending it's something it's not."
He didn't respond. He just drooped, shocked into silence by her words.
She glared at him again, but held her tongue. She looked at her watch. "I gotta go meet up with Hikari." She stood up, heading for the door. "I'll see you later."
He remained silent. She glanced back at him as she left, chewing her lower lip in indecision. Then she scowled and pressed forward, closing the door behind her.

Asuka was in a foul mood when she got to the noodle shop. After ordering a bowl of udon she found Hikari, sat down, and angrily started eating.
"You seem upset," her friend observed. "Is something wrong?"
Asuka stabbed at her noodles with her chopsticks. "That brat Shinji," she replied. "He's really pissing me off lately."
"Brat?" Hikari observed.
"He had the nerve to tell me he liked me this morning," Asuka growled.
Hikari clapped her hands together in glee. "Shinji confessed? That's wonderful!"
Asuka glared at her. "Don't make me laugh," she growled.
Hikari looked confused. "What do you mean? What's wrong?"
Asuka shook her head. "He doesn't mean it, Hikari," she said. "He's just as fucked up as I am, he doesn't know how to love another person." She scowled. "He's such a wimp. People complain about me being a bitch all the time, and lately he's been offering me silly bits of praise just to keep me under control." She fiercely attacked her noodles. "If only he'd stand up for himself. Or me! So what if I piss people off? He knows what it's like, he should stick up for me anyway. But no, he just wants to avoid causing a fuss. Can't have people upset at him or anything, oh no."
Hikari gave her a skeptical look. "I don't think that's true, Asuka."
"Of course it's true," she spat. She stared at the table mounfully, dragging her fingers through her hair. "Why couldn't he just leave well enough alone? We were doing okay for a while there, and now he has to start all of this shit." She clenched a fist. "It makes me so mad!"
Hikari raised her hands, urging Asuka to calm down. "Now wait," she began. "Did he actually say anything like that?"
"He didn't have to," Asuka said. "He wouldn't know subtlety if he tripped over it, so it's obvious."
Hikari didn't reply, instead watching in silence as Asuka devoured her food.
"I'm gonna get another bowl," Asuka mumbled.
"Okay." Soon after Asuka left, Touji Suzuhara entered the shop. Hikari waved at him. "Hi Touji!"
Touji walked over to the table, smiling at his girlfriend all the while. "Hey, 'Kari." He glanced over at Asuka. "How's the demon doing?"
Hikari scowled. "You better not call her that to her face, Touji. She's in a really bad mood today."
They didn't get any farther before Asuka returned. She gave Touji a tight glare as she sat down. "What the hell are you doing here?" she growled.
Touji gave her a mocking smile. "Love you too, Soryu."
Asuka slammed down her bowl and stabbed a finger in Touji's direction. "Don't you start with me, Suzuhara. I've already had enough of that shit from Shinji today, and if you push me I'll make you sorry, peace treaty or no."
Touji shot Hikari an inquiring look. "Shinji confessed to her this morning," she explained.
Touji looked back at Asuka, puzzled. "And that's bad?"
Asuka slammed her fist on the table and glared at Touji.
"She doesn't think he means it," Hikari explained. "She thinks it's an act or something, to make sure she doesn't cause anyone any trouble."
"That's exactly it!" Asuka insisted. "If you could only see the way he acts toward me . . . " She gritted her teeth, then dug into her second bowl.
Touji frowned. "Uh, Soryu . . . "
She shot him a glare that promised death if he continued.
He shifted uncomfortably. "Look, you know I'm not exactly your biggest fan and all, but I think you're kinda off base here."
"Then you're an idiot," she spat.
He shook his head. "No, seriously, what you're saying doesn't make sense. I spend more time with the guy than anyone, apart from you I guess, and he never talks about you embarrassing him or anything. He just wants to make you happy."
"Of course he does," she snarled. "If he makes me happy he'll get praise, and then he'll feel like he's worth a damn. Same old Shinji."
Touji and Hikari shared a look. "Asuka," Hikari began, "that's a really cynical way to look at it."
Asuka didn't look up. "What are you talking about?" she asked.
"Well," Hikari hedged, "it's true that he's always a little concerned or upset when he's talking about you, since that's just the way you two are . . . "
Asuka made a face, but didn't comment.
" . . . but even so, when he talks about something good that happened between you two his face just lights up, like he--"
"Yeah!" Touji interrupted. "He'll get this stupid grin on his face, like he's the happiest guy on Earth."
Hikari nodded.
Asuka looked up. "That's . . . that's insane." She glared at them. "You guys are just defending him!"
Touji scoffed. "You think it's just us?" he asked, incredulous.
Asuka looked at Hikari. Hikari blushed a little, then said, "Everyone knows about it." She laughed nervously. "It's, ah . . . it's kinda obvious."
Asuka shook her head, wide-eyed. "No, he's just . . . I mean, it's Shinji, he . . ." She looked from Hikari to Touji and back again. "Everyone?" she asked.
"Well . . . " Hikari hedged. She glanced at Touji, then shrugged.
Asuka went still, considering. All at once, the full weight of the morning's events hit her like a ton of bricks. Her fingers slackened, her chopsticks falling to the floor.
"Asuka?" Hikari asked, concerned. "Are you alright?"
Asuka leaned forward, cradling her head in her hands.
"Asuka?" Hikari asked again. "Asuka!"
Asuka slowly turned her head to face her friend. "Hikari, I think I might have made a huge mistake."
Hikari gave Touji a telling look, and he got up to leave without another word. Hikari moved her chair next to Asuka's and put a comforting arm around her friend's shoulders. "It will be alright," she soothed. "We'll get Shinji here and get this all sorted out."
Asuka didn't reply. She just sat there, hands tangled in her hair, feeling her world falling to pieces around her.

Shinji glowered at Touji as they approached the noodle shop. "Why are we doing this again?" he grumbled. "It's not like it'll change anything."
Touji frowned. "I don't know if it will or not, but you didn't see her earlier. She's really messed up."
Shinji glowered. "Like that's news. She's always messed up, same as me."
"I know but . . . " Touji scratched his head. "We gotta do something, y'know? I mean, it's not like we think we can fix your problems or anything, but we gotta at least try."
Shinji just shrugged. "Fine, whatever." They reached the noodle shop, and he let his friend lead him inside.
The girls were in the back, just as before. Shinji wasn't sure what he'd expected to find when he got there, but the miserable girl in front of him wasn't it. She looked defeated, like someone who'd realized she'd lost and had resigned herself to her fate. She didn't say anything, to him or anyone else. She just stared off into space, as if in a daze.
Shinji gave her a concerned look, then frowned. He turned to leave. "I'm going home," he said.
Hikari stood up. "Shinji, wait! Asuka wants to apologize."
Asuka gave her a hollow laugh. "It's too late," she rasped. "An apology won't take back what I said."
Hikari stared at her owlishly. "You have to try though, don't you?" Hikari looked at both of them uncertainly, the severity of the situation unmistakable.
Shinji sat down, regarding Asuka with a mixture of hurt and anger. His fingers twitched, before closing into a fist. "You need to start listening to what I say," he said softly. "I may be an idiot, but I know how I feel. Better than you do, anyway."
She nodded.
"I don't mind being hurt sometimes," he went on. "That doesn't mean I like it, but I can deal with it. It means you're being honest with me and I appreciate that. But this morning, you went too far."
"I know," she said.
He leaned on the table. "When you got back from Kyoto, you said you wanted to be friends with me. Don't you remember that?"
Asuka's eyes were watering. "Yes."
"Is this how you treat your friends?" His voice was tinged with anger. "Are things really so terrible between us that you would say something like that?"
She squeezed her eyes shut, tears rolling down her face, and shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said. "I--"
"That doesn't help," he said. "If that's how you really feel . . . "
Asuka was sobbing now. Hikari put a comforting arm around her and shot Shinji a disapproving frown. "That's enough, Shinji."
He stared at Asuka, hurt and confused and ashamed. A few moments later he stood, and turned to leave. "Fine," he said. "I'll see you later, then." He left the noodle shop, leaving the crying girl in his wake.

It was dark when Asuka got home. She entered, and found him watching TV. "I'm home," she said.
He nodded at her. "Welcome back," he replied. His tone was subdued.
She joined him in front of the TV. She sat down and pulled her knees up to her chest. She looked at him several times, chewing her lip as she tried to think of something to say. The silence between them stretched on for several minutes. He looked . . . resigned. It wasn't surprising, really; the situation was what it was, and he was very good at coping. Asuka squeezed her eyes shut, suppressing a shudder as she replayed the morning's events in her mind. She took a deep breath, and slowly began speaking. "I just couldn't believe that you felt that way about me," she said, her voice low. "I have so many problems, and I'm such a nasty bitch sometimes," she went on. She smiled a self-deprecating smile. "Well, most of the time, I guess." She laughed awkwardly. "And I'm not even all that pretty anymore, thanks to these stupid scars. I couldn't imagine anyone would feel that way about me. So I just assumed . . . " she shrugged.
"I know," he said. "It's fine."
She narrowed her eyes. "Don't say that. It makes you seem like a doormat."
He shrugged. "Sorry."
She scowled. "And don't start that again!" She turned to stare at the TV. "Why would you even feel that way about me, anyway?"
"Who cares?" he asked. "It's not like it matters anyway."
"It matters!" she exclaimed. "It matters to me, anyway."
He looked at her, then at the floor. He frowned, considering. "In the beginning all I felt was guilt, just like you said. I felt horrible for what had happened to you, and I didn't do anything to stop it." He looked back at her. "But a lot's happened since then. There's so much more to it now."
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Well . . . " he took his chin in hand. "Things were really hard for us after Third Impact. Even when we weren't fighting, there were still the dreams, and just trying to get by. It was so awful."
"Yeah." Asuka smiled ruefully, hard pressed to disagree.
"But no matter how hard it got," he went on, "you endured. You were so fierce and strong, and even when you used it against me I still admired that strength."
Asuka scowled. "What does that have to do with anything?"
But Shinji ignored her, caught up in his memories. "And it wasn't always bad!" he said. "We had good days, too. Sometimes we'd find a really good stash of food, or . . . " he brightened. "The cello! You remembeer the cello, right?"
She flushed a bit. "Yeah."
"You went to so much trouble to bring it back, to fix things." He smiled at her fondly. "You have no idea how much that meant to me."
She shifted uncomfortably. "Well, I had to do something . . . "
"And after that," he went on, "well . . . why wouldn't I start to like you? Isn't that natural in that sort of situation?
She was beet red at this point. "How would I know?" she mumbled.
"We were fighting a lot when Misato found us," he went on, "so all I felt at that point was frustration. But then, when you went to Kyoto . . . " he shook his head. "After things settled down a bit I was really worried about you. I never heard anything about what was going on, so I didn't know if you were getting better or not. All I knew was that I wasn't there to look after you, and that was really important to me for some reason. And I never really figured out what any of that meant." He thought for a moment, then shrugged. "But then you came back, and we talked about everything, and I just . . . stopped hurting so much. I started thinking about you without having to worry that something terrible would happen, and . . . " He turned toward her, looking at her in earnest. "No one's been saying you're terrible, Asuka. At least not to me. And if they did I wouldn't listen to them. The only reason I've been saying those things is because they're true. I just . . . well, you already know I'm an idiot," he said, blushing.
She giggled.
He coughed. "Well, anyway, that's how I feel."
Asuka chewed her lip, considering. "If that's the case, then I guess I have to . . . have to accept."
"Huh?" he asked, puzzled.
"Your confession," she explained. "That's how it works, right? You confess, I accept."
He blinked a bit at the breathy tone in her voice, then relaxed. "Oh, that," he said. He crossed his arms with a smirk. "Actually, I take it back."
She jerked back. "What?" she asked. "Whaaaat?" she went on. "You can't do that!"
"I don't think there's any rule against it," he said, deadpan.
"You just got done explaining why you like me," she said. "You can't take it back now!"
He harumphed, and stuck out his chin. "Just because I have strong feelings for you doesn't mean I think dating you would be a good idea."
"But you . . . you stupid . . . " she fumed. "Shinji, you brat! That doesn't even make sense!"
"It makes sense to me," he said, sulking. "And besides," he went on, his voice tinged with bitter disappointment, "it's not like you share my feelings, anyway."
She licked her lips, scrambling to recover. "Now, just--hold on a minute, Shinji. Let's not be hasty here."
He looked at her through narrowed eyes. "You weren't exactly unclear about your feelings this morning, you know."
"Well . . . " she trailed off.
"You said--" he began.
"I know what I said!" she shouted. She twiddled her index fingers nervously. "But even so, a lot has happened since then, and I just . . . I just . . . " Her hands shot down to her sides. "I don't want you to take it back!"
He regarded her with mute incredulity. "Are you for real?" he asked.
She crossed her legs, planting her hands in her lap. "Hmph," she said, chin up with all the pride she could muster. She looked at him sidelong, then looked away quickly.
He stared at her in wonder for a couple of beats, then finally gave in. "Fine," he sighed. "If that's what you want."
She nodded. "That's what I want."
"Fine."
"Good."
"Alright."
"Good!"
He turned back to the TV. He watched for a few minutes, then said, "You're impossible."
"Shut up, stupid Shinji," she replied. She sidled up next to him, leaning on him as they watched the TV together.

March 14, 2016

Asuka entered the kitchen, finding Shinji there. "You weren't there when I woke up," she said. She sounded hurt.
Shinji didn't turn around. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"You weren't there yesterday, either," she said.
He shrugged. "I can't be looking after you all the time."
Asuka narrowed her eyes. "That's not what I'm talking about. I already apologized for what I said, didn't I?"
He sighed. "I know you did. And I said it's fine, didn't I?"
"You're still mad," she said, hurt.
"I'm not mad." He sounded mad.
"You're acting like you're mad," she said.
"I'm not mad!" he exclaimed. "I just . . . don't know what to do. "
She scowled. "So you're just given up? That's even worse!"
He shrugged again, sulking. "Sorry to be such a disappointment."
She was quiet for a bit. Then, "You were doing fine before."
He laughed. "I don't think so."
She made a frustrated noise. "Why won't you let me fix things?"
He turned around, his face a mask of misery. "I'm gonna go outside for a bit," he said, heading toward the door. "I'll be back later."
Her fingers tangled in her hair, pulling at it in desperation. "What the hell am I gonna do?" she mumbled.

It took some time, but eventually she came to a decision. She turned on the house's computer terminal and started looking around online; A lot of the internet was down due to Third Impact, but a surprising amount of it had survived intact. Enough, at least, for her to find maps and a directory. She found a likely candidate near the outskirts of town, near the Hakone blast radius, and figured a route to get there. She estimated it would be about an hour each way. She packed a small backpack with food and water, and then headed outside.

As it turned out, her estimate was somewhat conservative; she got there in a little over forty five minutes. This appeared to be the right place. It was wrecked, just like he said, and there were a bunch of instruments lying around the store. It didn't take long for her to find Shinji's cello, still in its case. Per her suggestion to Shinji, she wrote a note for the owner. It was in hiragana, and it probably made her sound like a child, but whatever. That was the least of her problems at the moment.
Getting it back to the apartment proved to be a chore. The instrument itself wasn't the problem -- it was a pretty good model, and as such weighed less than three kilograms. The problem was the case, which also contained the bow, some music, and various other items. All told it weighed some fifteen kilos, nearly half of her body weight.
She tried towing it at first -- it had wheels -- but quickly found that to be cumbersome. The case also had straps, allowing it to be carried on the back like a backpack, but that meant carrying the thing's full weight. It also meant the case hit her in the thighs as she walked, which was annoying and forced her to adjust her pace. She ultimately decided on a combined approach, towing it on pavement and other smooth surfaces and carrying it over rubble or uneven ground.
Halfway home she stopped to rest. "I really hope that idiot appreciates this," she grumped, taking a swig of water. She sighed. "'I just wanted to do something nice for you,'" she mocked. She shook her head. "What a fucking idiot." She sighed again, hauled the cello onto her back, and trudged on.
By the time she got back to the apartment she was hot, sweaty, and ill-tempered. She banged loudly on the door. "Shinji, you idiot, get out here and help me!" She waited a bit, but there was no response. She banged again. "I swear to God, Shinji, if you make me dig out my keys to get in I'm gonna be pissed. Help me out here!"
Shinji opened the door. He looked irritated, but when he caught sight of her his ire turned to amazement. "Asuka . . . you . . . what did you . . . "
She ignored him, opting instead to shove the cello in his direction. "Here. It's your problem now." She stomped inside and collapsed in a chair, drinking heavily from her water bottle.
He took the case in hand by reflex, still utterly baffled by the situation. "But you said you didn't even want to hear it--"
"I never said that, you moron. I said I thought it was stupid, that's all. I don't really care if you play it or not."
He blinked in confusion, and began wheeling the cello into the living room. "But if that's true, why did you go to the trouble of bringing it here?"
She huffed in frustration. "Are you stupid?" His mouth worked, but no sound came out. She closed her eyes and forced herself to calm down. "You were moping around like a brain dead moron," she said. "You weren't paying attention to me, and you wouldn't believe me when I said I was sorry, so I had to do something to get your attention."
He shook his head. "But you don't even like it when I--"
She screamed in annoyance and stomped her foot. "Stop it!" she yelled. "Stop being stupid! God, you can be such an idiot sometimes!" He stared back at her blankly. She took another swig of water." I can't explain everything to you, dumbass. Just work it out."
Shinji scratched his head and thought about it. He still didn't get it, but this was obviously important to her. "Well then . . . is it okay if I play something?"
She clenched her fists, suddenly very angry. "Why the hell are you even asking me that? Haven't we been over this? You don't need my permission to do something you like! Jeez! If you want to play, play! You don't have to ask me if it's okay!"
He shook his head. "No, I didn't mean . . . what I meant was, would it bother you?"
She went still. All at once her anger had evaporated. "Oh," she said. "Well, that's different. I don't really c--" She caught herself. "I mean, it's fine," she murmured. "Do as you please."

"That's not the same one you played before, is it?" she asked.
He shook his head. "No, this is from an anime that aired before Second Impact. The original version used a full orchestra, and there was an a cappella version, too. But later on they came out with a cello version, and I really liked it. That store had the sheet music for it, so I figured I might as well grab it."
"Huh." She stroked her chin in thought. "I didn't put anything about that in the note."
He frowned. "How did you write that, anyway? I thought you couldn't--"
She scowled. "I'm bad with kanji, dumbass. I'm not illiterate."
He laughed. "Sorry, sorry." He leaned forward, giving her an expectant look. "Did you like it?" he asked.
She shrugged. "It was fine." She frowned in thought. "It was better than the other one," she added. "That one was kinda boring."
He gave her a stupefied look. "Did you just call Bach boring?"
She stuck out her chin. "What of it?"
He narrowed his eyes. "You do realize he was German, right?"
She flushed, then scowled at him. "You shouldn't make fun of a girl when she's complimenting your music, you jerk!"
He just laughed at her.
"I mean seriously," she grumbled.
He smiled thoughtfully. "In fairness, that's a piece that changes a lot depending on who's playing it. Cellists use it to practice -- it's pretty easy to learn, but someone who's really good can do lots of neat things with it." He laughed self-consciously. "But, ah, I'm not really all that good as a cellist, so I guess the way I play it is kinda boring."
She shrugged. "I thought it was fine."
He smiled at the compliment. "Thanks." After a moment, his smile turned into a frown. "I still don't understand what I'm supposed to do, though." He stared at the floor, bracing himself for her inevitable rebuke. When it didn't come, he chanced a sidelong glance at her.
She was playing with her hair, eyes narrowed in thought. After a time she said, "You aren't supposed to do anything, dummy." She met his gaze, and gave him a weak smile. "You keep acting like there's some magic formula that will fix everything, and all you have to do is figure out what it is. But that isn't true. You can't change what happened, and you can't change what you did, any more than I can change what I did to you. And you don't have to. You really don't. All I want you to do is be there, so I can lean on you when I need to while I work on fixing myself."
He stared at her intently, trying to process what she had said. She could almost see the gears turning in his head.
She huffed in irritation. "Do you understand what I said?"
He nodded uncertainly. "I think so. Maybe?"
"Whatever," she mumbled. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed."
He nodded. "Okay."
She got a change of clothes and headed for the bathroom. She stopped when she reached the door. "You'll be there when I wake up, right?"
He nodded. "I'll be there."
She turned and headed into the bathroom without another word.